Co Sleeping With A Toddler

it's really gotten to the point that I have the absolute worst and restless sleep- when I sleep by myself, in a king sized bed, in a large dark room, with it's own en suite bathroom.

I have the best and most restful sleep when i'm beside a toddler whom i like to call a yo-yo (because he's always flip flopping from one end of the bed to the other), in a small double bed, in an overly bright and drafty space (despite 2 layers of black out curtains), with creaky floors and no bathroom.

this co sleeper loves...

• when he wakes up from maybe a bad dream, he whimpers a little and all I need to do is turn around and hold him for the rest of the night (or until we both get too sweaty). within minutes we're both out like a light again 
• just before he officially is ready to drift off, he asks for a 'hug' and again, i just have hold him in an embrace for a few minutes. whether he's asleep or not, i let him go and remind him that i love him and he drifts off quickly and easily. 
• that when he drops that stupid pacifier down the side of the bed, i have the spare one right beside me on our night stand. i don't have to truly wake both of us up trying to find that darned thing and we're back to sleep within minutes
• his body heat is my own personal heater
• he randomly kisses me in the middle of the night now and then and goes back to sleep
• sometimes he sees my back exposed without covers and he lifts the blanket up to cover me
• sometimes he wants to know who is sleeping beside him, in the dark he examines our face and hair with his hands to check out who it is (and sometimes he cries if it's not me)
• when I'm holding him, he caresses my arms 
• he randomly holds my hand in his
• even though we mainly sleep back to back, he turns around sometimes and puts his arm over me as if to hold me
• sometimes he sleeps on me (if I happen to sleep on my back) and sleeps cheek to cheek (this isn't very restful for me though because he's heavy!)
• he never wakes up grumpy in the morning. always ready to climb over me and down on the ground to play quietly until i wake up. however, if he had a poop he's right in my face saying, "Mom, I poo'ed! wake up"
• sometimes if i am pretending to sleep, i can hear him whisper to himself random words or stories, and even better, giggling
• i like that if he sees me sleeping, he'll just wait for me to wake up just yo-yo'ing quietly checking up on my status every now and then (at this point I'm really awake I just don't want to get up)
• watching funny stretching, body bending, chubby feet and legs kicking up in the air and extending/flexing all with one eye open so he doesn't noticed I'm awake (and hopefully go back to sleep, but actually giggling enough that I'm awake)
• and last but not least, the random "I love you" whether he thinks i'm awake or not, but whispering nonetheless

Priceless moments I won't hesitate to remind him of and reflect on when he's grown and no longer wants us to be beside him!