What Keeps me Sane-ish? Life Lately

I'm running on empty most days as sleep deprivation is no longer acute but running on chronic.

Mikkel cries out every.faqing.hour to heck even every 30-45 minutes over night because she's teething? maybe? and since i'm cosleeping with both and not wanting to wake #1 (who wants 2 cranky kids right?), i gotta pick the baby and myself up and move to the living room and try to sleep on the crappy cushioned couch that is so uncomfortable.

The faqing cat is all happy and curious why we're in the living room that it's jumping on the couch, meowing back and forth, moving here and there totally stimulating Mikkel when I want her to go to sleep. I often wish I have/had something to throw at him.

Max's tantrums are increasing in frequency; last night's for one because I manually turned his movie on using the DVD buttons when he wanted me to turn it on using the MISSING REMOTE.... grrr....

Like I say to every nurse-ling and nurse out there, "you gotta take care of yourself before you take care of other people." right? Here's what keeping me sane(ish) lately, taking it one day at a time.

1. Coffee- i'm a coffee green horn. I start my day off (sometimes days don't actually end because I'm up every.faqing.hour from 12am yada yada yada) with 2 tablespoons of hot chocolate mix, 1 tablespoon of instant original roast coffee, and milk. I was never skeptical of coffee, but now I see and feel its power. Need it.
2. Max's biology CD- his class learns a science subject every month and it's accompanied by music to which they perform at the end of every month. I really like the music and the lyrics as they're well written and catchy. I may have learned something or two as well. 
3. Sunshine- when the week's weather looks hot, too hot for the month, I'm charged up and have plans to order food, visit family, keep kids on schedule, walk long distances, and do a crap load of stuff. When the forecast is bleak, i'm like 'is my computer fully charged?'
4. Youtube Videos- i love watching youtube channels of people with Luxury handbag collections, reviews, unboxing. Living vicariously but also because if I were to choose to afford something, it would be beautiful bags! Which leads me to the next activity...
5. Online shopping- the internet just makes it way too easy to shop online and return without hassle. somehow looking/touching an item that has a $100 price tag makes you think twice, but a $1000 price tag on a luxury good item that I can't touch (ebay, consignment, official luxury sites) seems like a good deal, especially when it's preloved.
6. Creating wardrobe capsules- something about writing down the clothes I have for the season and mix/matching outerwear-pants-tops-shoes in different combinations is really fun for me. I like to say, "i have nothing to wear" a lot so the fact that I actually know what's in my closet and saving money instead of buying clothes makes me feel good. Thanks Pinterest for the endless outfit inspos! 
7. Writing in my agenda- i feel more organized and in control of my time- control of something! Something I can look forward to and prepare for.
8. High Waisted Jeans- just bought jeans that tuck everything in. I wear them often
9. Play dates- hanging out with other friends babies? yes please! Nursing friends with babies? unfiltered chatter and of course, people who understand shift work and the challenges involved when you are away from your exclusively breastfed child for more than 14 hours a day x 4 days/week
10. Watching the Social- i don't watch the show everyday, but every time I do I learn something from their debates. It's really how I stay current on the news nowadays too. Four intelligent and funny women with different perspectives, they're young and they don't all agree- love it!
11. Tasty, Taste Made, Buzzfeed Food videos on your FB feed- WTF do i make for dinner this week? oh thanks for the ideas! Although I spend more time watching instead of recreating.
12. Comfort food- diet Coke, diet pepsi, peanut M&M's, giant Superstore chocolate muffins, Pepperoncini flavoured chips, mojo's from Safeway, sushi with extra ginger and spicy mayo
13. Funny Stuff on the Internet- love reading the comments section on anything. Meme's, some-ecards, spoofs, trolling, celebrity gossip etc.
14. Going to the mall or Superstore with 1 child- 2 kids are too much to haul, especially as Vancouver isn't very wheel friendly. I like to hit the mall when someone is about to nap...peace and quiet! shopping is so therapeutic, there's absolute truth in retail therapy
15. Organizing my drawers/files/clothes/stuff- Purging and organizing constantly. Feels like I can breathe. Even in condo living, there's always something
16. Spontaneous picnics with the kids- something about bringing all the kids outside and sitting on a blanket while eating a meal is an instafix for restlessness and irritability- for the entire troop! 
17. Realtylink.org- since there are some big moves happening in my family, i love looking at what's available and what's there for sale in the real estate market. So many beautifully furnished apartments and when there are open houses close to me, love going to those too to snoop around and get some ideas for my place
18. Instagram/Snapchat/Facebook- updates, inspiration, current events, household swaps, pretty pictures etc
19. Smitten Kitchen (via Instagram) and Pioneer Woman (via Food Network)- my sis introduced me to these two cooks, recipes are so yummy and easy. Pictures are beautiful and true to your own result. It feels good to add something new to the menu options at least once a month. When a 4 y/o eats it, and bits and pieces are also baby approved; win win!
20. Overlapping sleep hours- there's an overlap in my day where Max, Mikkel and yes even the husband (who by no means deserves a nap but that's a whole other story) so the TV is off, the house is quiet except for my chosen noise, i'm not yet exhausted from the day, and it's not yet dark out. Tranquility, yes!
21. Exercise- something about fresh air and change in environmental temperature really helps you snap out of the i'm-so-faqing-tired reality funk
22. Reading books turned into movies- sometimes I'm so foggy, i just gotta go straight to the movie- which always sucks compared to the book! Yes, i finish the book...in a month or so.

It's the simple things in life.

Wordless Wednesday

Life Lately, 1 month Post Partum!

they said, second baby's are so much easier!! 

and from my experience, this has proven to be true (knock on wood) in the first new normal month of our household. Maybe I just know what to do this time around? put to breast whenever and often, don't sleep with husband in same room, lower expectations for house cleanliness, lower expectations for daily activities, give husband a 'job' ie. take Max out, utilize the iPad (!!). Or that this baby is such a good baby, and not as needy as my #1 in their infancy "girls are so much easier!" they said. 

Mikkel!

^^ born like this; her hand against her face ^^

she's essentially asleep for 2.5-3 hours, and then feed/diaper change/tummy time, sleep again. she absolutely despises being swaddled and sleeps with her arms up, which is adorable (and temporary). she also can't stand a pacifier, giving me a look of disgust at any of my attempts at placing one in her mouth. our typical day:

• bedtime routine starts at approx 7:20pm (wipe down, naked tummy time, gum brushing) all while very upset and crying. typical fussy time. at near 745pm, it's a feed where she sometimes takes milk from both breast, but more often now 1 will do for 2.5-3 hours. her and i have our 1:1 cuddle time in a night-light lit room until she falls asleep - i just hold her, stare tenderly at her, and wait for her limbs to go flaccid, and then transfer her to her co sleeper
• throughout the night, it's a feed and sleep routine. usually she's in bed with Max and I after her first wake up. I change her diaper only if she poops because if she gets over stimulated, she thinks it's play time and neither of us won't be going back to sleep for 1.5 hours- whereas i'm just dying for sleep and getting ultra irritable
• wakeup time can vary from 730am to 830am, which sets us up for another fussy time until i put her on the carrier for another nap
• at night she goes to sleep right away after a feed, but during the day, she only sleeps while on the ergo (thanks to nursing, I'm a pro at holding it in ha!)
• needs a nap at dinner time lasting until just about 7pm or she'll be so overtired and will take forever to put down for night sleep. so far I've been diligent that this happens because her down time is my up time with Max

nice to know...

• as of Sept 23, she's about 9 lbs 9oz
• her favourite side to sleep on, which almost is a sleep inducer for her overnight, is on her right side. this is consistent with her behaviour in utero as i always felt her body on my right side. she can turn her head to her left without discomfort, but range of motion isnt as fluid as the other way
• we sleep so well co sleeping
• she's doesn't have much of a shrieking, high pitched type of cry. she gives me warning "wah!" sounds which escalate a brief amount of time. super helpful overnight when I don't want Max to wake up
• she gets hiccups often, same as while in utero
• black hair, grey eyes

^^ the Ergobaby carrier is a must have for us. only way she'll nap during the day ^^

Max!

Max started preschool this September and i firmly believe it's one of the best decisions we've made for him. he's absolutely thriving in the school setting and has bonded with his teachers. i was really worried about Max's separation anxiety, and consulted so many blogs and forums. The consensus from real time mom's (and teachers) was that I needed to try to just leave him there. even though tears will be had, it won't be forever. During gradual entry (3 classes over 2 weeks), I stayed with him while baby wearing for the entire 2 hours- he didnt play with other kids, he didnt interact with teachers, and he didnt really participate in group time. He wanted to show ME everything and do everything with ME, and follow ME wherever I went (can you imagine how exhausting that is with a baby strapped to your chest and you can't really sit down properly? aiya!). On our off days, we talked about having courage, how we love him so much, how we will ALWAYS come back, and of course how to ask the teacher to go to the washroom. I let him bring a toy to class that reminded him of home, and most importantly, per the idea of my friend Helen, i gave him a picture of my husband and I that he could carry in his pocket and look at whenever he was lonely or needed some strength. 

First day tears, the teacher basically took him far from me, while i walked out after kisses and hugs and hung around taking a peak for 10 minutes- then I went home guilt ridden and on the verge of tears. When I went back for pickup (extra early of course), he was all smiles as i took a peak, and the teacher feedback was 'he did great!' Second day, watery eyes, kisses and hugs, picture of us in his hand, gave him to the teacher, and I left the building. 'He did great!' was the after school feedback, and he carried our picture in his hand throughout the entire class (aw!). Now 1 month in, he tells me that it's ok that I leave him at school all by himself (!!) and no tears or picture in hand needed. He's all smiles, kisses, hugs, and happy when I pick him up- yes! 

As for his relationship with his sister, he absolutely loves her! I asked if he gets upset when he's woken up in the middle of night by her cries, and he say's 'no she's a baby' happily. He tenderly asks her, 'what's the matter girl?' and hugs her, kisses her, pets her, rocks her on the bouncer, and heck even tells ME that she needs milk and to pick her up and hug her. i think they're going to have a wonderful relationship. I can leave this world in peace!

As for us...

my husband sleeps in another room, and gets plenty of sleep (tough life eh?). his job is to take Max out to the park at least for an hour, at least once a day (twice lately, since it's been so beautiful!). he's not exactly free from responsibility like when we just had #1, so when I am able to live in the moment and cherish some peace and quiet, i know it's not by my means alone, it's because my husband is doing something with loud, energetic, defiant Max! He's also been pretty useful in the food department and getting our daily groceries and cooking some meals. anything helps!

my post partum recovery has been pretty smooth. I'm getting sleep, albeit choppy sleep at night, but I'm able to chug along sans coffee. my biggest complaint is my lochia which fluctuates from nothing, to saturation especially during and or after activity like baby wearing. I'm trying to take it easy but I really cannot give up on this great weather while we still have it- i have the rest of the winter weather year to stay at home and watch tv. lately, i've been venturing out to downtown, the malls, and walking to our local Superstore - this is about as lively as my cardio gets nowadays but again, lowered expectations. if there's one thing I need to improve on with my overall self though it's to increase my patience with Max. My fuse isn't short, but dang he's one defiant, rambunctious little fellow- i don't even think it's baby related, it's just his age. I am aware, and I need to be more mindful of this before I ruin our connection. Lastly, friends have come to visit, and those I only get to see every now and then, have come to my neck of the woods to meet the baby or just to chill out even if it's for a brief period of time. I put on one of my maternity dresses today, and was in disbelief at how it fit me now compared to 5 weeks ago when I could barely button up the darn thing because of my abdomen. I miss some parts of being pregnant, but love not being pregnant so.much.more. Online shopping is my new outlet, i'm a happy camper!

Our transition into this new normal household has been overall much more enjoyable than in 2012. my midwifery care will end in the next couple of weeks and i'm confident that my baby and family will thrive! Looking forward to 11 more months of constant change <3

Last Party of the Year!

Counting down to Christmas, and one of our last non-family parties of the year (see pics from this same event but last year here)! As expected, Max didn't do too well with the presence of Santa- and THAT'S OK. What toddler actually feels completely comfortable sitting on a hairy stranger's lap sans the trusting protective embrace of parents anyways? i'd be worried if he wasn't afraid.

Nice and simple party, pics below!

^^ smile for the camera!! ^^

^^ is it me or does he just look so grown up in this pic?? as a side note, this is one of the few pictures of Max where he actually look like my husband! ^^

^^ Michael Jackson foot move lol ^^

^^ of course he wanted a monster truck on his face ^^

^^ the talented face painter took all of 20 seconds to create this little masterpiece. As a non drawer, I'm sure it would've take me much much longer. we were all so impressed ^^

^^ Before picture, lining up for Santa ^^

^^ after, even if a foot away awww ^^

Merry Christmas partying! 

GIF's on Life Lately

my August.

The physical pain of it.

What I said when people told me to rest

...but I had a month off from work!

Me at 830pm as a stay at home mom.

When the doctors gave me a clean bill of health in September.

Night before I had to go back to work

....but a part of me really felt like this!

Working with my colleagues feels like this,

...after my 1 day 3 night shift set.

How I feel now, back to a work-life balance

and because Fall is finally here!

thank you Definitely Raining for the gifs! 

More of Summer

Just going to keep things short here today. it has been glorious outside lately and a hot laptop is the last thing on my mind! 

^^ Honey Doughnuts in Deep Cove, i just about died (literally and figuratively). have you had one? you know what i mean when you do lol. so so good ^^

 Hope you're having a great summer! 

Afternoon at Nat Bailey

We redeemed our Vancouver Canadian's groupon this weekend at Nat Bailey stadium, Vancouver Canadian's vs. Everett Aquasox to be exact. It was a full house of fans on a scorching hot Sunday afternoon- so hot that they had staff with water bottles spraying many ready and willing people with cold water!  This was Max's first time at the game, and probably my second or third in my lifetime. Although i would've liked to sit down through the entire nine innings (or maybe at least 6 with the other times scoping around what to eat like any other i-come-for-game-food-ambiance fans), Max naturally could not sit down for prolonged periods and we had to go up and down the stands roaming around to "do something else" as Max would put it. 

^^ singing along to the Star Spangled Banner and O' Canada ^^

^^ we sat in section 5, row 13...a PERFECT spot rain or shine! you see the crowd under the sun? i don't know how they survived under the heat for the 3 or so hours. I would've been coming home with a major sun burn or heat stroke or both. St. John's Ambulance was on guard for first aid, hope they were all ok! ^^

^^ it was also family fun day at the Stadium with A&W Rootbeer floats by donation! they were so good, and so necessary on dare i say again but not complaining...a scorcher of a day ^^

^^ thank goodness for the children's play area! Max and I killed some time at the bouncy castle. Water was absolutely mandatory during and afterwards. the endothermic child Max is, he seemed to sweat out as much as he would take in. he was dripping! ^^

^^ view from the play area, right field ^^

^^ i'm not sure why these players were here...shouldnt they be in the dugout or something, or just seeking shade in general? i wish i could've passed some ice cream around ^^

^^ not the same as the PNE donuts, but still just as hot, sugary, cinnamon-y, and yummy ^^

^^ sushi races! i actually don't know what character the winner was supposed to be. there was Wasabi, Sushi, and.... ? Gomae? (lol). I tried to get close but Max is terrified of any enlarged and costumed character like these, regardless of how cute they may seem ^^

^^ clap Max, clap! ^^

Well the Canadian's won 4-3, and we had a great time! Until next time Nat Bailey Stadium!