Life Lately

• We spent mother's day stuffing our faces at Olive + Anchor at Horseshoe Bay. Have you been? Aside from the calamari and clubhouse which Gene raves about, I personally came for the Oysters Rockefeller- they were the best I have ever eaten. something about cheese, spinach, butter, bacon, and an oyster's texture that is so right. As expected i had hot flashes all day from the richness of this dish

the best picture of father and son that day

• i had the tiniest of canker sores near my lower gum line, and of course the smaller they are the more painful they are. ive been optimizing the healing environment of my mouth because of this stupid thing and guess what happens last night? during Max's rumbling and tumbling sleep gymnastics, he drops his head on my face/mouth while i was sleeping and i just about screamed in pain. i held it in. it was more painful than childbirth
• husband is away for the next 3 days doing some seasonal work and Max and I are alone together for the entire 72 hours. Today was day 1 and i was already feeling my patience nearly boil over at 1030am (we woke up at 730am). im pretty sure it's just me, because Gene says he's a baby when im around but totally different when im not around. Max just wants to be picked up and carried all.the.time and you know what? he's freakin' only 23lbs but feels like 30lbs. Dense. Solid. im hurting
• i went out with some company who think my way of doing things is wrong and i make my kid uncomfortable. if they were other people, id tell them to fck off, but alas no...because i CANT. unsolicited, critical, nagging "advice" or "recommendations" especially from people who dont, by and large, spend more time with MY CHILD during the hard times really should be more of a pillar of support
• my cat is humping this fleece blanket on top of my couch. he's neutered...what's up with him? 
• i had a great laugh with my friend Sarah about our changed menstrual cycles post baby. It was NEVER like this pre-baby. New moms beware!
• Max despises the stroller, every time he's in it...it's a CIO session until i pick him up. I dont bother bringing this anymore. Life right now is so much more easier when im not using it. But, damn when he's heavier, i hope he chooses to walk more than me carry him on the carrier. Or at least hold my hand when crossing the street or how about not dart close to the boulevard when he sees big rigs pass by on the street. is that too much to ask? 
• i can't cook food, prepare food, or wash dishes if im the only parent in the house. Max seems to hate it when i do this. I can't help but think maybe he doesnt want me to do this...which paves the way for him to be trained earlier to do it for me? haha

• We recently had, what i think was our first post rainstorm outing. i was totally unprepared for Max's curiosity and i dressed him in runners, jeans, light jacket- and he of course runs straight for the biggest puddle out there and falls in. Awesome! I learned my lesson the next day (after another rainy day) and let him run free in appropriate gear

oh is that piece of dirt for me Max? Thanks, you shouldn't have! 

• we upped this little man's bedtime to routine starting at 830pm and down by 9pm. he is still crying 2-5 hours after this but he's waking up sometime between 730-9am. who would've thought that sleeping in is defined as 9am? oh parenthood
• Max's bedtime breastfeed session feels more like snack suckling rather than the i-want-breastmilk type of gulping sounds im used to. he's weaning me off!! 
• we went to the Brentwood Mall 'playground' the other day- why does it always smell like dirty diapers there? maybe i just have a sensitive nose? or maybe it's the parents/guardians who DONT PAY ATTENTION to their children and gab away to their friends instead. pardon me if i have to gently push your too-big-and-or-too-rowdy children away so they don't hurt my child 
• i found myself reflecting on how i judged parents pushing their McDonald's eating young child in the stroller- as i sat with Max at McDonalds giving him fries (no salt and flat pressed in napkins to soak up the oil of course ;-p)

im back to work soon, have a great week!

staying alive

Now that max is older, he's not just cute but cute And fun as he is now more interactive with me and other people.

One of the things Max and I love doing together is dancing! multiple times A day, we turn on the local station 103.5 qm/fm and I carry him and we dance along around the house, particularly in front of the mirror. Call me old but this is one of the only radio stations nowadays that play songs I know and can sing along to! the majority of the time I know the lyrics to whatever is playing and though I sing pretty crappily, it is fun to refresh these tunes in my head and is such an easy learning activity for baby via language development!

The second thing we love doing is me whipping him on the jolly jumper and I walk on the spot while he dances...probably thinking that I'm dancing too! Trust me it's more amusing this way than just sitting in front of him watching him. When my feet move around, Max's legs jerk/dance around more. So cute! Sometimes he drops his weight on the jumper and thus bounces like on a swing and other times he uses one leg to anchor himself on the ground as he does an almost 180degree turn (think geometry tool, forgot what it is called). what I do love most of all is him looking up at me and smiling or just observing, and me looking down at him in amusement and just soaking it in at how small he is yet we connect on so many levels.

When he first used the jumper he was on link 7, now he's on link 8!

On a heavier note (pun intended), my period came today after not having it since week 7 (week 18 now)...whomp whomp!

What the F***! Period so soon?

                                         Photo Credit

Alright so i'm either spotting or it's the beginning of my period.  What the F?  It's so soon!

First cycle start date: Feb 28
First cycle end date:  March 8

Second cycle start date:  March 23
Second cycle end date:  ??

What the F, 23day cycle? means 14 days with no period and 18 days with a period!  Which kinda means I can have a period cycle twice a month?  What the flying F!!  I really hope i'm just spotting as this will definitely ruin my vacation next month, and well the situation just sucks!   I won't flip out just yet and see what tomorrow will bring.  I hope this is just some ONE TIME irregularity in my cycle!

Yes!

Yes!
Period is over!
Well ended yesterday (march 8th) but I thought i'd give it one more day.
Feb 28th to March 8th first cycle ...WOW!

Week 5, WTF Moment

Today is day 8 of my period, and as expected, my period would be dying down.  In the recent days, my period had dwindled from heavy, to moderate, to dying down but not over.  Essentially, from full pads to the thin flow pads, but not yet panty liner stage.

Sadly, I was woken up this morning by a) a full bladder, b) a restless partner, and c) "tingling" sensation down there.  I thought I could let it go as a WTF moment, but the bladder was too full and I was conscious enough of it that I couldn't ignore it any further.  On my way to the bathroom, I felt more tingling, and lo and behold, much to my surprise- lets just say - DAY 1 TYPE OF FLOW!  WTF!  I was seriously shocked, pissed, disappointed, and had to think enough that I couldn't get myself back to sleep once I was done freshening up.

 I thought of what could've caused such ANNOYING irregularities?  The daytime flow was weak! 

• Dinner from last night? (White Spot pulled pork sandwich)
• That egg mcmuffin I ate? (filler and hormones in that "sandwich?")
• Just being off the pill in general (my first cycle)
• Stress (bad work week)
• Fatigue (still have not recovered from my work set)

Idiopathic things I definitely can't explain, and nor can the internet!  Normal is what's normal for each individual.  I dare not waste more than 5 minutes researching patterns of irregularity, especially when it comes to the female body.  So, I just took the day in stride and treated myself to what would be a Day 1 type of day. 

Fortunately/unfortunately the flow of the day was like small to scant.  I wonder what type of hormones was circulating in my body at night to produce such "horrifying" day 8 results.  Started the day off saying WTF, ending the night off with a WTF. 
I wonder what tomorrow will bring?  Hope next cycle is more predictable, this blasted period better not ruin my upcoming vacation!

Que sera, sera...

Week 4, no Birth Control, In Review

Feb 28 ----> Awesome news, I got my period on the day it would've arrived if I were still on the pill!

March 1 ---> Heavy ass period, like heaviest that I can remember in a long time!  Almost high school days heavy!

March 5 ----> Sheitty news, I still have my period! Definitely on the dying stages, but not enough to be pad free.  UGH!!

I've been pretty much at work this entire week.  One of the few things I remember this week though is that I really didn't handle the stressors of work too well.  I felt like I couldn't catch up on what was going on during the day and night shifts and was always behind.   However, there were contributing factors like 1) Just received a new preceptor student that had absolutely no clinical experience in the last 2 months.  and 2) the shit hit the fan essentially every shift I had this week, subjectively and objectively! Wtf?!

Ate pretty crappy this week!  As in, ate at A&W which is soooo nasty, and had a McDonald's breakfast which I like, but my stomach never feels full and more acidic than any other meal I eat --probably due to lack of dietary fibre, and abundance of filler in that egg mcmuffin meal.

Skin was alright, had minor break out (again on my chin, and again WTF?) which I even continue to dry up with my magic masque even to this day!

I want my period to be over already!! Sheesh!
If I were still on the pill, this day 6 would be like the "i'm done day."

Will monitor

Week 3, No Birth Control, In Review

Week 3 has been slightly more problematic than other weeks, here's a review:

Eating: I continue to eat well and lots of fruit, an active decision- thanks Costco for the wonderful frozen fruit selection at reasonable prices!  I did buy a bag of chips this week, but that's because it was on sale and it was my favorite.  However, I was actually feeling repulsed by the chips as the week and the chips bagended, and currently have no further cravings!  Eating has been satisfactory though as we on a lazy night whim ate at the dreaded McDonalds.  I had a big mac meal, awesome fries, awesome thirst quenching-feels-so-good-fountain pop, and a less than stellar burger which I donated a patty off to dear husband.  The burgers honestly smell better than they taste, not much to my surprise.

Skin: mild to moderate breakout this week on my chin (WTF?!).  Although even on the pill I did have a breakout days prior to period time.  Definitely used a lot of my "magic mask" to dry out those suckers.  Ugh!  Maybe it's a coincidence, but this has been the first time I ate at McDonald's this year (i'm 95%) sure, so maybe that has something to do with the breakout?  Will monitor next month.

Mood:  Last sat, around the 19th, I woke up feeling good and had the stillness of the apartment all to myself.  Then at the hours when people woke up and people started calling, I felt INSTANTLY annoyed at the sound of their voices.  Don't know why.  Maybe it was just lingering dread that it was a superb saturday and while everyone had a day off, it was my Sunday technically, and the dread of work the next day really irritated me.  I did however was able to hear myself constantly and the tone of my voice and talk my way down (in my head) from reacting and acting out on my innocent family members.  Husband pissed me off quite a bit this week, probably because, well I think because he's not match for my arguing skills and resorts to using expletives to mark the occasion (not necessarily directed at me), whereas I don't and can express myself through reasonable vocabulary.  Yep, that's his tactics...soooo annoying and lame.

Body: Went to yoga twice this week just to cool off from the frustrations of my days off.  Feeling fit!  Not sleeping the good 10+ hours I like when i'm off, probably getting around 7-9 hours sleep only (yeah yeah don't shoot me! haha).  My period, if I were still on the pill, is slated for around Feb 28th/March 1st.  No cramps, but I do feel that heaviness in my lower abdomen, like you know you're "full" and you just need to get rid of that old uterine lining asap! hahaa

Week 2, No Birth Control, In Review

Week 2 has been remarkable, again no acute issues!

Eating: I continue to eat well and lots of fruit, an active decision.  I have this new found aversion to chips though!  This is a miracle as chips were my almost every other day indulgence for as long as I can remember (and to note I was on the pill for as long as I can remember).  I had an urge to buy a day ago, so I did, and after eating a few bites, i was like "enh, i don't feel like eating anymore."  This isn't even some active decision, I actually DID NOT feel like eating chips!  My usually trigger for the salty goodness is a really hard day at work, my set starts this Sunday, I will monitor.

Skin: no breakouts, maintaining a healthy diet and same skin care.

Mood: I did buy a watch, ahem, a luxurious watch but that is IT.  I've commited to saving some money since I want some renovations done, and well i'm just sick of "stuff."  Yes, this is really me typing this! hahaa.  I have noticed that i'm thinking more clearly when I fight with the husband.  I'm able to say to myself things such as "let it go," "just ignore the idiocy," "watch your tone or you'll take the argument to a whole different level." LOL!  Also, the lingering anger doesn't stay too long, i'm able to be a bigger person and initiate the path to atonement.

Body: Went to yoga yesterday, feeling good.  I wish I hadn't googled as to when I was supposed to be ovulating (15th or 16th), or talked about what ovulating felt like with my friends as on the 15th and 16th of this month, I felt sharps aches in the right lower quadrant area of my abdomen where I picture my right ovaries are.  LOL!  I'm still not sure!   I was reading up on information regarding cervical mucous and fertility...I think that's going to be a whole new other post.  Let's just say, I haven't put the theory into practice.

Week 1, no Birth Control, in Review

Well it's been a status quo week, and this is a good thing!  My period ended February 5th/6th and i've now been 10 days birth control free!  Let's break things down in categories to sum up my experiences:

Eating: eating well, no chips or sweets cravings.  Had 2 burgers back to back but that was because I had a date as well as meet up with friends.  I find that I don't feel the need to finish my plate, when i'm full, i'm pretty full and stop.  Maintaing a high fibre breakfast with fruit smoothies, no binge urges.

Skin: no major breakouts, maintaining a healthy diet and same skin care.

Mood: some urges to shop, and by shop I want big bold things.  Otherwise, no emotional outbursts.  Sleeping just as good.  And things that my husband does that instigate a fight and annoy the shiet out of me, i'm able to set aside faster and be nice.

Body: starting weight not so pretty, but going to yoga today.  Minor spotting but just in random moments with no obvious precursor.

Yes!

I stopped the Pill!

Photo Credit

By some strange turn of events, I decided to stop taking birth control pills!  LOL!  My cycle just finished, I got sick of taking pills, I regret paying the $31 for 3 months worth of pills that i'm not going to use.  I'm excited yet not excited to see how my body reacts.  I'm going to load up on fruits, and watch my diet!!

Exciting!!

Last Day for the Pill!

My next booked vacation will be in the early April time.  This year, we really want to go somewhere as we fortunately/unfortunately no longer have to set up arrangements for the house sitting of our cat (R.I.P Mazoola).  As this will be our first real vacation, I really don't want to screw it up by having a period!  Ugh!  So i've decided to continue taking my birth control pills until then.

The absolute last day, and coincidently, the last day of the 3 month prescription, is April 22nd.  After that day, my period should start around April 25th, and in theory, I would've had to start taking the pill again on April 30th.  Starting that month, I will be birth control free!!  Hurray!!  Gives me three months to think and prepare. 

Here's a cool ticker that I will occasionally attach to my postings marking April 22nd!

Love Affair with Birth Control Pills

Photo Credit

I've been on birth control pills since I was approximately 15, 16, or 17 years old (so long that I can't even remember).  Not, not because I was a nymphomaniac back in highschool, but because I had a horrendous complexion that could just not be controlled!  I had seriously almost tried everything from antibiotics to topical treatments and nothing would work!  Back in those days, there was no personal computers or internet, so, as a teenager, there was no pragmatic means for me to do my own research.  To boot, I had a "crappy" family gp who basically was a drug pusher and didn't explain anything- just described the drugs.

My first experience was with Diane-35.   This pill was a miracle in its entirety!  My skin cleared up within about 6 months, I had no side affects, no acute breakouts (at least from what I can remember), it doubled as a birth control pill, and because it was prescribed for skin issues rather than a BC pill, it was covered under my parents' insurance.  So sweet!  It took a while to get used to the daily dosing, and i'm pretty sure I heard some grumbling from my mom regarding the birth control part of this pill.  I took this pill until around 2004 or 2005 (I think) when I actually got a job and paid for my own meds.  These pills are EXPENSIVE!   Maybe around $55-$60 for 3 months worth of supplies despite having 80% coverage.  Thanks parents for putting up with the cost!

In 2004/2005 I can briefly remember a situation when I read/heard/watched something about Diane-35.  Although it was in passing, thanks to the internet, I was able to do my own research.  To my surprise, I got apprehensive about this drug right away...i don't know WHY though considering I had absolutely no side affects, and the side effects listed was verbatim with every other contraceptive out there.  Here's a link to one site from CMAJ Diane-35 (cyproterone acetate): safety concerns  This isn't the website I found way back then, but this certainly sets a tone.  I also feel a lingering anger towards my family MD who never told me about this stuff, or actually even stressed the importance of side effects by doing head to toe assessments and my vitals and merely even asking questions on how i'm doing.  Bottom line though:  i'm healthy.

I made the active switch to Alesse sometime in the 2004/2005 range.  Sadly, not because I did research but because the advertising was EVERYWHERE so I was like, "what the heck, ill try that one!"  To this day, I don't exactly know what i'm putting in my body, but again, I have no side effects, pimples are still around, but definitely not as bad as when I was in high school, and according to websites, Alesse has the lowest dose of estrogen and progestin.

So far I haven't stopped taking Alesse, my prescription is ongoing until July 2011.  I'm going to order another cycle of 3 months (this is all that Blue Cross will pay for at one time) in Feb for the Feb/March/April cycle.  At this time, i'm not sure if i'll be ready to stop the pill in April.  The next cycle would be May/June/July ...the latter sounds a lot more exciting in my opinion.  According to my doctor, I don't even have to stop taking the pill for 3 months before trying...that there was no evidence of any harm.  I think i'll listen to my gut instinct and clear my system.

What I love about birth control pills?  I can plan my entire life and vacation a year ahead as I know when i'll have my period!  I love love love that!