Solid Weekend

^^ this is the look of no sleep after a night shift, overstimulation from Superstore crowd, slaving over a hot stove cooking 2 dishes, not having much to eat during the day to save room for dinner, and post Max meltdown immediately after a nap and just prior to going over to my parents house. you better believe I slept well that night! ^^ 

How was your long weekend?

I spent some part of it at work (i'm basically living there right now thanks to some shift swaps) with some fine coworkers. It's a real treat to work with people who just make you laugh your arse off, a little escapism from the sadness that in-spite-of-it-all is still ever and will always be present on our unit (it IS palliative care). The weather forecast has also been nothing short of amazing! Since last Friday or so, the weather has been beautiful, crisp, and pedestrian friendly. Max and I have been zig-zagging around town by foot/stroller and also by bus- no real task to be done but whatever it takes to get him used to sitting, travelling, and falling asleep in the stroller! He really is not a fan of crowded buses or crowds in general unless he's being carried by me or sitting on my lap. Not sure why, not like anyone was touching him or interacting with him, the bus was just full. I dodged a meltdown by getting off pronto once I saw him looking up at me and tears were welling up. Lesson learned: no transit during rush hour with a stroller!

This weekend was also Canadian Thanksgiving. We came together with empty bellies but filled with gratitude, and came out with full bellies and an even finer appreciation for what we've been blessed with. I made butternut squash soup and paella. I know, totally random and non-traditional but i've had these recipes sitting in my work inbox for a long time and decided to just go for it. the soup turned out fine, but if I were to make the paella again i would use Spanish rice and not just regular short grained rice (I used Kokuho and it seemed mushy), i would actually measure the amount of smoked paprika instead of my inaccurate 'eyeball it' technique, and definitely not over crowd the pan. I added shellfish, chicken, and chorizo..yeah way too much for a medium sized skillet. Ah well, next time (if there is a next time for this dish!!).  

^^paella time^^

Can you believe it's already mid-October? Next stop, Halloween (im totally looking forward to AMC Fear Fest as it's one of the few times of year I dedicate to TV even though i've seen all the movies)! Then Christmas (the most wonderful time of year! Christmas music starts playing around mid Nov over here)!!

Family Days Off

 ** first time on American soil! 

This week, we finally dusted off Max's passport and took a 10 hour long driving trip to America to see grandma. This was his first cross border trip and he took the heat + confinement to a car seat + irregularity in schedule + sweaty irritated parents with great stride. in fact, we totally feel confident about doing this again soon! Maybe to the Seattle premium outlets? A Trader Joe's run for their yummy kettle corn? Some Mexican Coke that tastes nothing like the stuff up here? Yes please!

This weekend was also the annual Italian Day at Commercial Drive. Always a fun day to sample some food as the menu's are not limited to Italian fare given the diversity of the Drive. For lunch we had sweet and savoury veggie samosas with mango chutney and a vietnamese sub. my taste buds were  dancing! Lots of walking, live music, busking, and the aroma of BBQ makes for a great day. I found it extra family friendly this year as they spruced up Grandview park with floaties and rides for kids- have they always had this? or did i just notice this area because i was searching for a place to give Max a break after sweating on me for 2 hours? oh and my shoulders were kinda hurting too ;o)

 ^^ best dressed of the day 

^^ watching the sardines BBQ in front of the PCOV is my annual tradition

^^ the Venice masks were a theme this year. Wouldnt it be grand to get all dressed up and have a Venice ball? I'd choose a mask that had some crazy height and frills!

^^ even though it's a dog drinking fountain, it makes for a perfect little water park for a little guy

Hope you had a great week!

Life Lately

• We spent mother's day stuffing our faces at Olive + Anchor at Horseshoe Bay. Have you been? Aside from the calamari and clubhouse which Gene raves about, I personally came for the Oysters Rockefeller- they were the best I have ever eaten. something about cheese, spinach, butter, bacon, and an oyster's texture that is so right. As expected i had hot flashes all day from the richness of this dish

the best picture of father and son that day

• i had the tiniest of canker sores near my lower gum line, and of course the smaller they are the more painful they are. ive been optimizing the healing environment of my mouth because of this stupid thing and guess what happens last night? during Max's rumbling and tumbling sleep gymnastics, he drops his head on my face/mouth while i was sleeping and i just about screamed in pain. i held it in. it was more painful than childbirth
• husband is away for the next 3 days doing some seasonal work and Max and I are alone together for the entire 72 hours. Today was day 1 and i was already feeling my patience nearly boil over at 1030am (we woke up at 730am). im pretty sure it's just me, because Gene says he's a baby when im around but totally different when im not around. Max just wants to be picked up and carried all.the.time and you know what? he's freakin' only 23lbs but feels like 30lbs. Dense. Solid. im hurting
• i went out with some company who think my way of doing things is wrong and i make my kid uncomfortable. if they were other people, id tell them to fck off, but alas no...because i CANT. unsolicited, critical, nagging "advice" or "recommendations" especially from people who dont, by and large, spend more time with MY CHILD during the hard times really should be more of a pillar of support
• my cat is humping this fleece blanket on top of my couch. he's neutered...what's up with him? 
• i had a great laugh with my friend Sarah about our changed menstrual cycles post baby. It was NEVER like this pre-baby. New moms beware!
• Max despises the stroller, every time he's in it...it's a CIO session until i pick him up. I dont bother bringing this anymore. Life right now is so much more easier when im not using it. But, damn when he's heavier, i hope he chooses to walk more than me carry him on the carrier. Or at least hold my hand when crossing the street or how about not dart close to the boulevard when he sees big rigs pass by on the street. is that too much to ask? 
• i can't cook food, prepare food, or wash dishes if im the only parent in the house. Max seems to hate it when i do this. I can't help but think maybe he doesnt want me to do this...which paves the way for him to be trained earlier to do it for me? haha

• We recently had, what i think was our first post rainstorm outing. i was totally unprepared for Max's curiosity and i dressed him in runners, jeans, light jacket- and he of course runs straight for the biggest puddle out there and falls in. Awesome! I learned my lesson the next day (after another rainy day) and let him run free in appropriate gear

oh is that piece of dirt for me Max? Thanks, you shouldn't have! 

• we upped this little man's bedtime to routine starting at 830pm and down by 9pm. he is still crying 2-5 hours after this but he's waking up sometime between 730-9am. who would've thought that sleeping in is defined as 9am? oh parenthood
• Max's bedtime breastfeed session feels more like snack suckling rather than the i-want-breastmilk type of gulping sounds im used to. he's weaning me off!! 
• we went to the Brentwood Mall 'playground' the other day- why does it always smell like dirty diapers there? maybe i just have a sensitive nose? or maybe it's the parents/guardians who DONT PAY ATTENTION to their children and gab away to their friends instead. pardon me if i have to gently push your too-big-and-or-too-rowdy children away so they don't hurt my child 
• i found myself reflecting on how i judged parents pushing their McDonald's eating young child in the stroller- as i sat with Max at McDonalds giving him fries (no salt and flat pressed in napkins to soak up the oil of course ;-p)

im back to work soon, have a great week!

First Work Week DONE!

When I saw Max yesterday morning

i didnt sleep after my last night shift, so this was exactly how i felt all day

we survived my first work set! i have to admit that my new job as a palliative care nurse is pretty awesome, especially as i didn't/dont come home fried and thus have plenty of room for Max and his extra need for hugs and cuddles after not seeing me for the entire day and then some.

husband did well and now admits that raising a child is quote/unquote "hard work." he's also stated that he's "exhausted" at the end of the day and looks forward to his "days off."  Furthermore, he wants me to empathize with the fact that that he hasnt been sleeping well as he's anxious about Max waking up in the middle of the night- i take it that my husband has now developed mommy ears. lol i cant help but laugh, welcome to my world buddy at least you get "days off" when I'm off from work! because ive been doing all the night parenting and am the primary care giver for Max since he was born, my only response (besides cussing in my head) was this

DAY SHIFT:  I get up at 530am to get my stuff and myself together before Max wakes. Luckily Max has been waking up at 6am without me having to wake him (I say Luckily very lightly as i'd really love to sleep in until 8am one day), so at this this time Max and I get to spend a little time together breastfeeding and cuddling before I head off at 620am. I say bye to Max and tell him im going to work, but i don't want him watch me exit the door as I think he'll freak. On my first day shift, I gave kisses and my goodbyes, handed him off to Gene, bolted out, and the follow up report was that he cried for "a solid 60 minutes." The next day it was 30 minutes...progress!

During the day, Max and husband play and go to the local Strong Start. As for the 2 daily naps, Gene says they sleep together on the twin bed in the baby room. Gene lies down after seeing cues, Max plays beside him and slowly lies down and inches his way beside him when tired like a little bear cub.and they nap together for 45-2hours. how cute is that?! i have my own style, daddy has his own style- whatever works right? After my shift, i literally bolt from work and head home- best case scenario is home by 805pm. I call when im on the bus so Gene can start giving Max a bath (and not do so prematurely), and when i hear him take him out and go into his room, i sneak in to have a quick shower, and rush to Max's room to breastfeed and put him to bed. 

NIGHT SHIFT: so far, i get about 1.5 hours of sleep before my first night shift. i should be awake by 4 to help prep for dinner as Gene and Max could still be napping. Dinner, cuddles, and breastfeed at 6pm before I leave for work around 620pm.  To prevent a crying session so late at night (which could affect night sleep), Gene takes Max on a little toy car ride down the hall after i say my goodbyes...by the time they get home, i'm gone. So far, no major issues with Max going to bed. 

The next day as i'm about to arrive home (approx 8am), I call Gene that im 2 minutes away and he takes Max to the room so he doesnt see me and start crying. I whip in and out of the shower, breastfeed Max and have my cuddle time, and Gene again takes Max on a short toy car ride so I can sneak in the room, disappear, and sleep. By the time this is all done, it's time for Max's first nap and once I wake up sometime after lunch to take over. 

So far everything is working well as we adjust to our new work-life balance! 12+ months of exclusive breastfeeding - SUCCESS!

Life this week