What's In My Bag - 2 kids edition

I don't know about you, but I enjoy seeing what people are carrying in their bags. I'm just nosey like that :op

From regular purses, to luxury purses, to diaper bags; i like to see what not only fits (if I were to consider purchasing that bag) but also some ideas on what I could carry to make my trekking with two kids much easier. If it seems as though I carry a lot, it's because we're pedestrians 98% of the time; Max on bike + Mikkel stroller/carrier (walking), or Mikkel on carrier + Max on Stroller (using transit and or walking), or Mikkel on carrier + Max walking (using transit).

This was my bag BABY EDITION (1 Child)
This was my bag TODDLER EDITION (1 child)
Without further ado, here's my luggage with 2 kids!:

my purse

1. mini purse (approx 7" length) for essentials only. I've learned to trim down a lot as a heavy bag and a kid on the carrier was just way too physically exhausting. One handed closure is a must with two kids!
2. coin purse (from Turkey!) for candy machine quarters, rewards cards, and gift cards
3. double sided card holder that holds essential plastics: credit card, debit card, ID card, Compass pass
4. emergency snack for Max; PC organic fruit leathers in any flavour
5. compact mirror, also used as a toy for either kid (buys me at least 5 minutes of time!!)
6. key pouch that currently holds at least 6 keys. keeps keys organized and pressed down nearly flat. it also protects the inside of your purses from getting scratched up
7. Spiderman and Star Wars bandaids for the win!
8. fabulous lipstick, helps me face the daily challenges when i feel great
9. emergency liners to buy me time, damn you aunt Flo!
10. iphone 4

my diaper bag

1. this Fjallraven Kanken bag is nearly a bottomless pit of space. to boot, once I'm done with needing a diaper bag, Max will take it over as a school backpack. The style has stood the test of time, stylish, and very comfortable
2. best on the go wipes packaging c/o Kirkland from Costco
3. best diaper changing station c/o SKIP HOP! useful on the ground, in public washrooms, public change rooms, on a bench, anywhere and everywhere
4. food for the kids. squeeze pouch, rice puffs, some egg and fries for Mikkel. Cashews, apples, and a sandwich for Max if we aren't eating out
5. love this Tommee Tippee  bib because it rolls into a compact size and the little pocket catches Mikkel's food waste
6. phone charger; my batt life sucks
7. toiletries: tissues, first aid kit, hand sanitizer, Tide to go, random lip stick
8. fork and spoon set from Daiso, love this for when we're eating out and plastics are of poor quality (and some bad for the environment)
9. S'WELL bottle that keeps drinks cold for 24 hours, hot for 12 hours. it's also the only water bottle that fits in the Kanken external pockets
10. bubble wand (it's summer after all!)
11. washable crayola felts for whenever they need to be occupied. Also a chewing toy for Mikkel ha!

the stroller compartments

The umbrella stroller I have has the undercarriage but I also bought the awesome J.L Childress Cups 'N Cargo Organizer for added compartments- really, one can never have enough compartments!

1. I have this pacifier holder for Max's soothers (yes he still uses them to queue him to nap) when we have to be out during nap hours. they keep the soothers clean, child #1 gets sleep anywhere- although lately, he can't fall asleep in the stroller anymore (cuz he's too big for the allotted space but he still wants to go on)
2. various toys for both, the favourite here is the Kazoo
3. because it's summer, hats are essential
4. seeds for when we feed the ducks (did you know bread is not recommended duck food?)
5. quick grab napkins from various fast food joints because someone is always making a mess 
6. hand sanitizer, we are transit users after all. Don't worry though, I don't overkill on these antibacterial products, I'm not afraid of germs. Also, SPF 50+ kids sunscreen for all of us. Ombrelle is the only brand I am NOT allergic to
7. quick grab diapers for Mikkel when a sink is available and I can wash her bum instead of going through the lie down and wipes motion- she also won't stay still while supine so washing her bum as she stands is the path of least resistance
8. in the Spring/Summer/Fall time, we often have picnics together. this old table cloth can be folded into a small size (fits under the backpack in the undercarriage) yet folds out to a relatively large space for us comfortably to sit, eat, and play around the city. we're always ready to picnic! 
   

Any recommendations on what I should carry?

Should stop carrying?

Hope you enjoyed

'Tis the life! 

Then and Now, from No kids to two!

^^ 2008 ------------------------------ 2015 ^^

the funniest things (sometimes even the most brilliant things) come to mind just before I nod off to sleep, does that happen to you? Last night I was thinking of all the changes that has happened in our married life in the past seven years. Of course there were trials that even to this day create a rumble of unhappiness in the pits of my gut, there have been some events where I'm still left wondering how we made it through, and of course so many more, way more events that i'm thankful for (Happy Thanksgiving Canada!) and even LOL to myself because they're still funny even out of context.

My recent reflections were of how some of my activities of daily living have changed since the kids were born. I remember I had a tearful meltdown when Max was born as I transitioned, well more likely Mourned, the loss of the life I had known for 29 years. With #2, there was no mourning period once she was born (admittedly, I was afraid to lose the 1:1 relationship I had with Max because I imposed a loss on him by having a #2, but that's different). Maybe because I was getting sleep? Maybe because I wasn't the only one with kids anymore and have my own crew to play date with? And/or maybe because I now realize that I never really lost Me once the kids were born, I just needed to give life some time and then proceed to incorporate my interests (new and old) into my new normals. Things take a lot longer to happen these days, sometimes the universe is telling me that it doesn't need to happen (don't hold your breath, girl!), but wow the process of accomplishing those tasks came with some interesting turn of events, especially with children around! For my friends who are reading this, I 100% am convinced that kids enrich our lives. Big things! Small things! The small small things! Life has been so much more meaningful- get past the stress of how the baby is going to fit through that vaginal canal (lol).

How's that Blogging going? 

• before kids: I wasn't into blogging that much but i had a lot of time to do it if I wanted to invest myself in it. I did read blogs, some parenting blogs, and judged a lot of moms on their chosen child rearing practices because I wouldn't do that myself if i were a mom- y'know, someone with no actual experience, only theoretical.
• 1 kid: I blogged! took lots of pics of my #1 and blogged my experiences of new motherhood. I found the time when he napped and I love reflecting on my experiences today.
• 2 kids: ive barely blogged since she was born. Ive also got a pathetic amount of pictures of her (compared to #1 at this age), which I regret daily, but the idea seems to just evaporate from my head to come back later on in the day. I'm currently blogging on top of our electric fire place mantle as my body is rocking her to sleep because she stirs awake if I sit. 

Did you take a shower?

• before kids: uninterrupted long cold or hot showers to my liking.
• 1 kid: when he was a baby, his car seat would be in the bathroom with me as he cried while i took a shower. he eventually was ok with me not holding him and i was able to have beautiful long uninterrupted showers to my heart's content.
• 2 kids: the older one and I shower together so I can multitask! He still doesn't let me wash his hair. Mikkel is with husband crying 90% of the time, therefore my showers are brief (like 5 minutes or less) and I shampoo my hair every 3 days instead of daily (I shampoo my bangs daily though). Surprisingly, my hair looks better since I stopped shampooing daily!

What time do you wake up?

• before kids: bed around 11ish, woke up beside my husband on the king bed anywhere from 930am-1045am
• 1 kid: i did all the night care, so I co slept with Max in his room on the double, and husband slept by himself in the king (or slept with the cat actually ha). wakeup time around 7-730am maybe? earlier and multiple times, naturally, when he was a baby. Consistency and restful sleeps came after about 2 years of age
• 2 kids: husband is now sleeping by himself on the double bed in Max's room, and Max, baby, and I are sharing the king in the master bedroom. I'm literally sandwiched in-between two kids, but we all are sleeping well, which is by and large paramount for all our sanity! My husband wakes up in the 930 time range, while the kids and I start our day off around 730-8am range. 

How is your overall alertness and functionality?

• before kids: sharp and patient. quick to respond to emails, texts, calls. Took a lot of overtime shifts at work!
• 1 kid: semi sharp, not as patient. didn't kill anyone at work (just kidding!). Increasingly poor responder to emails, but quick on texts, filtered calls. No overtime shifts at work, and didn't care about it.
• 2 kids: ive lowered my expectations on a lot of activities of daily living. I think I'm alert enough for basic needs and demands, especially from a toddler. i'm lower on patience department because toddlers really push your buttons, trying to work on this actively. I'm semi- quick on texts and will always respond within a couple of hours, poor on calls (who calls nowadays?) and filtered based on caller ID, and I've been finding myself reading emails and not replying or completely forgetting about them (oops)

What about leisure activities?

• before kids: anything I wanted with no curfew! I did a lot of shopping and zigzagging around vancouver doing aimless activities
• 1 kid: although I was not limited to staying at home all.the.time, my me-time was limited to when Max was sleeping in the stroller (approx 2-4pm). I had peace and quiet, and I could try on clothes if we were at the mall! He was a super stroller sleeper, we were out and about often!
• 2 kids: I'm lucky if I can get us organized before 11am (unless it was a school day, then it's early, but bare basics). Most of our activities involve going to the park and empty construction sites, superstore, dollar store, and just walks around east Van. If I do happen to go shopping, we're in and out before Mikkel's next feed (usually asleep in carrier) or before Max's nap, whichever comes first. Short times shopping = excellent money saver (oh and the fact that I can't try anything on because Mikkel is on the carrier!). Online shopping is my thing nowadays.

On eating out

• before kids: no budget, ate whenever, wherever, for as long as it takes for everyone to be physically and socially satiated. 
• 1 kid: had to pack food for Max, and as he got older, made sure it was at a (mainly family friendly) restaurant that had something he would eat, like french fries! If we were going to metrotown, we always HAD TO eat at Opa because he loves their calamari and rice haha
• 2 kids: eating more at home for dinner. Max knows what McDonalds is now (aiya!), and I have to meet a bedtime routine so we're usually not eating out after 630pm. There's definitely more carry out food happening here if we were to not eat at home. Mikkel is usually on the carrier so I'm holding a plate or a napkin over her head as I feed myself so food won't spill on her lol

How do you shop for groceries?

• before kids: I could spend hours upon hours at Superstore
• 1 kid: I could spend hours at Superstore with Max, but that's because he has to see the candy aisle, the toy aisle, have a tantrum here and there that I need to talk him out of
• 2 kids: I personally wouldn't do a superstore run with both kids at this time. there's no room for 2 on the cart for one, and I don't want to deal with the chaos of an unhappy Max (because I'm not buying him a toy) and a crying baby if it were to happen. So far, I've been lucky and have had opportunities to shop with just Mikkel, on a carrier, for an hour or so at a time. We've gone for brief, express line shopping as a trio without incident though.

Do you exercise?

• before kids: shopping is my cardio
• 1 kid: shopping is my cardio, but while pushing a stroller, and also after i've exhausted the kid by going to a park prior
• 2 kids: baby wearing is my cardio and strength training

Do you see your friends often? 

• before kids: almost monthly get togethers. No curfew! My shift work schedule is usually why socializing was affected
• 1 kid: I brought Max along 98% of the time. Usually lunch outings, It took about 30 minutes for him to warm up, but he enjoys seeing my friends and they enjoy seeing him. he's super well behaved!
• 2 kids: lots of preplanning and advanced notice for get togethers. limited to lunch outings (of about an hour or so) and sometimes my condo for environmental comfort. Often they are play dates so I don't have to entertain Max and can tend to the baby. For now, limited to my neighbourhood so I don't have a crying hungry baby on transit

How's your relationship with your husband?

• before kids: great! normal! we did things separately, but together. Down time to chat each night.
• 1 kid: fought a lot at the beginning because he was completely not up to par with new duties of parenthood. As Max grew up, he finally knew what to do with his child and was useful to me as a parenting ally and partner.
• 2 kids: more helpful because Max needs him too, and also because Max is more functional and independent, they both can enjoy each other's company and play like boys play. He's not THAT active with Mikkel yet, but she's still a fragile baby. We don't have much down time together as a couple (or peace and quiet for that matter), but we all come together as a family at some point during the day and spend time in the same room (albeit watching TV or on iPad but whatever!).  Sometimes just being there is enough. Just someone getting the groceries for you can be enough. Just someone taking out your rambunctious child to burn energy is enough. Thankful for my husband's physical presence or i'd honestly go mad! 

Well there we have it, a brief summary of my new normals. I definitely didn't say any of this was easy, but wow have I grown up from my life being about Me, to now, Us (cliche)! I can't even imagine my life without these 2 children tearing up our house, so thankful for them, and love them so much. 

5 Random Things About Me

thanks Andrea from Mama In The City for tagging me! I've never done one of these before nor really know who to pass this along to but hey, if you're reading consider yourself tagged! here we go...

^^ yes! ^^

1. Jon Bon Jovi is my celebrity crush. i don't know what came first; my crush on him then subsequently loving his music or loving the music then going gaga over the source of the voice. i still listen to and love Bon Jovi the band, and all the men I've ever been truly interested in had/has a trait that is Jon Bon Jovi-esque. 

2. My actual dream nightmares aren't of the end of the world, but of being back in post secondary school. for some reason, in the 10 years since I've graduated I've had a recurring theme of not being done a class project or paper and my whole life up to now has been a big dream. I'm still in nursing school, about to fail for not handing something in, and nothing of what i know now exists.

3. I was born in the Philippines. No one ever thinks I am Filipina when they meet me for the first time. You don't look Filipino, i thought you were ________ (Japanese, Malay, Chinese, Native etc). There has been no common denominator but hair, skin colour, face shape, and height are my most often heard rationales for the misidentification. My parents are both 100% tagalog speaking Pinoys!

4. I had no idea what nurses did before applying to nursing school. We were told to make a program choice for post secondary applications, and randomly chose nursing at 17 years old. It was a good fit for me as i considered myself older than my chronological age- though still needing to grow up. I am glad that nursing schools aren't choosing straight-out-of-high-school students nowadays though because I think an 18 year old barely can take care of themselves let alone have/need the responsibility of taking care of other people. 

5. I am left handed when I write, but do every other activity of daily living with my right hand. I secretly hoped Max was a lefty but alas, the dominant right handed gene expressed itself earlier this year.

thanks for taking the time to read! this was more fun than sleeping prior to a night shift :op

Hello Spring! Life Lately

happy Spring Vancouver! 

today is my first day off from work and i'm still recovering from my first ever cold since Max was born. by first, i really mean first.ever.illness in 26 months! i have felt like crap all week, had a cough that's kept me up all night and all day, short of breath lying down, nose dripping standing up, achy muscles, y'know the works (woe is me)! and what did i learn during the trajectory of this illness? time to rest and recover doesn't exist for this mamma in our household! at day 8 of this cold, i still have a cough and still have somewhat of a runny nose. mind you i haven't been taking any drugs because i can't stand popping pills, which i know my being a nurse who dispenses drugs all the time is kind of odd to say, but multivitamins is about all i can manage and not daily. i've been going through the 'teaspoon of honey' route which has actually helped suppress my cough at night. it's not a curative measure but not only does it taste good, it worked a bit (psychosomatic maybe?).  how do other mom's cope when they're ill but still need to take care of little ones? how do mom's with chronic illness deal? i wish you strength fellow mom's!

aside from being sick, being a mom, and being a full time worker (did i mention i didn't call in sick at work?) ...i also am studying for the CNA Exam under the palliative care specialty. i've known about this exam oh since November and I'm finally feeling the crunch right now....the exam is on April 5th! working is studying right? you can't study for psychosocial questions right? bell curve marking right? i give major kudos to mom's in school trying to make a better life for themselves. career...academia...motherhood....self care...it's not impossible, but wow it's not easy! 

^^ my baby still fits in this little storage container ^^

As for Max, he's also sick but it's not even phasing him! some parents are the type that they take their kids to the doctor right away at any sign of illness, me i judge how unwell he is on how much he plays. little kid still wants to go to the playground? hallelujah, he's alright! speaking of playground, Max started counting 1-10 on his own this week! i started actively teaching him a couple of weeks ago and what triggered him to do it on his down was climbing up the ladder on the playground. just randomly helping him and supporting his bum, and there he goes counting from 1 to 10 with each step ...my jaw dropping but trying to shut my mouth to let him finish...and there it was, milestone. my baby is no longer a baby. I'm still working on the alphabet but I'm trying to teach him to recite it with meaning (ie. A is for apple) rather than just memorizing a song (but as for memorizing, he's up to G!).  i also bought him this alphabet puzzle to work on....so far, he get's O right all the time! haha. as previously mentioned, i stopped letting Max use the iPad a long long time ago for various reasons. if you let your kids use digital technology, i highly recommend this app, Max loved it and he was so good at it at at 18 months! 

anyway, I've figured out ways to incorporate new things into Max's life and so far it's been working especially with food. the key thing is to say, "mamma love ____" and/or "papa love _______" and since he loves what we love (or so it seems), he seems to want to do what we're doing. a few nights ago, I heard Max saying Max love broccoli! as he stuffs his face with dinner. and sometime during one of our outings, he randomly said Max love cake! where that came from I don't know since I'm not a huge fan of cake nor where we anywhere near cake, but it's really nice hearing him express what he likes vs. the old guessing games of infancy. 

and there we have it, life lately! I'm going to work in the light, and going home from work in the light!! our outdoor time has significantly increased since it's still light out after dinner (just need to dress warmer) too, i can't wait to experience play life with a near 2.5 year old! picnics out doors? playing chase? sandbox castles? warm weather? yes to all! 

happy spring everyone!

^^ Max at 26 months ^^

What's in My Purse - Toddler Edition!

What's in my purse - BEFORE BABY! read here

What's in my purse - BABY EDITION! read here

Today, I bring you the "What's in my purse" series, with a 21 month old little man. To sum it up; timing is everything. If I can schedule outings around meal and poop times (which currently is somewhat predictable), the less I need to bring, we can get more things done within our window of opportunity, and the happier I am!

^^Yes this is it! ^^

This is basically what my luggage looks like whenever I try to facilitate some ME time, which basically is nearly every afternoon I am off. Max naps from about 1:30-3:30pm and he's on the carrier for that period. Once he wakes, sometimes he stays on the entire time until we go home but more often he requests a break (and I get a break!) from the position and we just walk around town until it's close to dinner and home time.

1. ERGO Carrier:  the best thing that ever happened to me. Has a pocket that carries the stuff I need to access quickly without disturbing Max too much while he's sleeping; phone, bus pass, wallet.
2. BUS Pass: couldnt live without it. I wonder what the Compass Card will hold for us? I love the bus pass as it has no expiration, I can go anywhere without being limited by a time deadline.
3. Lipstick: MAC Craving, of course (my current fav)
4. Pacifier and Clip: Max is only allowed to have the soother for nap time. He loves it, he connects napping with it, it's like once he sees it he turns on a 'nap switch' inside his head and he goes to sleep almost instantly. The pacifier clip is necessary though because he spits the soother out at times. When he was younger, that meant DISASTER, but nowadays, he can cope without it (but just in case...im keeping it close!!)
5. Box of Raisins: even though im an anti-snack person (to preserve Max's appetite for meals), sometimes the kid is hungry and needs something to hold him over until we get home. He loves raisins, it's portable, it's healthy-ish, and it's not too filling that it'll spoil his dinner.
6. Cellphone: naturally
7. Double Sided Coin purse: though it may seem I don't have much in there, it's actually packed full of essential plastics like credit cards, bank cards, Max's care card, my ID, and extra bus tickets. The other side carries a few bills and coins, nothing too much or it creates bulk that sits against Max's back. im thinking that's uncomfortable?! So easy when I have to buy something and the wallet is right there at that super-convenient ERGO pocket.
8. A Drinking Cup: sometimes I carry this cup, most times I carry his ZOLI cup. Max, like me is randomly thirsty, and wakes up thirsty...like an I-need-water-NOW type of thirsty. I toted around a big water bottle in my pre-baby bag, and Max is used to getting water right after he wakes that if he doesnt he gets pretty cranky. We can't stand being parched! 
9. Keys: not pictures, but purpose and presence is obvious
10. Grey light purse: hold's all of the above except wallet, bus pass and phone. I wish I didn't have to carry it, but the drinking cup and snacks are vital!

^^ our morning bag! ^^

During the morning time, we're often out and about whether it'd be at a park, Strong Start, or some indoor play area. We eat breakfast at home and I make and tote Max's lunch so we're not so rushed to leave the place we're at and he's not having a meltdown from hunger (transit can be so slow! public meltdown? no thanks!). Most day's, this bag is attached to our stroller and if it's not a stroller friendly place, im carrying it along.

1. Cute Bag: 2 big pockets, 1 drink pocket, and uber CUTE! 
2. Wipes: I really like the Kirkland (Costco) wipes because of its portability. when his change table supply starts running low, it becomes his portable wipes supply. When the portable supply get's REALLY low, it ends its life on the change table just so i dont ever get stuck with no wipes and a dirty diapers. i don't have to deal with refills and dried out wipes from poor packaging, love it.
3. Diapers: I dont often have to change Max's diaper out in public because he's not a fan of public change tables- i think he knows what needs to be done if he poops! but stuff happens especially if he eats early and has a movement soon after, so better be prepared.
4. 3 food containers: Yes, you read that right three! one for his sandwich, 1 for his fruit, and 1 for his just-in-case food (Goldfish or cereal). He's covered! 
5. Bandaids (blue and white case): this was more essential during the summer when he would be falling in shorts, but since it's Fall/Winter, I havent used much from the pack as he's in pants. he gets a pretty good giggle out of band-aids though, not sure why but he's so fascinated by them. 
6. keys: because i forgot to add them to my afternoon bag picture
7. toys: for comfort, a source of distraction, something to do.

Well that's all she wrote!

Tell me about your purses, Im curious to know!

Before I Became A Mom

Before I became a mom, I wanted an elective c-section

The roots of my vaginal birth aversion came from a nursing school experience. Essentially, I watched a mom during her last minutes of labor and then through delivery of a healthy baby. Basically I had my eyes peeled to her vag from pulsating --> to ring of fire --> to baby out. To other's it was a beautiful moment, to a 20 year old female student with children nowhere in the near forecast, everything about the experience was ghastly. The only thing that turned the tide was discovering I was pregnant, and clarity set in.

Before I became a mom, I was set on exercising every day throughout my pregnancy, eating right, and gaining only the minimum amount of weight (25lbs)

Well I walked a lot. I tried swimming for a couple of weeks and eventually went shopping instead to fulfill my daily cardio requirements. I ate like I always ate, except that Coke tasted ever.so.good that I even bought a case or two or three for the first time in my life. I have to admit that that was officially my pregnancy craving, as today I would drink it more so for the fact that it feels good going down my throat than me loving how it tastes.  I gained 40ish pounds in the end.

Before I became a mom, I thought breastfeeding was easy; like stick the mouth to your nipple easy.

Breastfeeding was initially a struggle because I didn't really understand the concept of feed baby + brain = body makes milk accordingly. I definitely had struggles with engorgement (those "breast rocks" were more uncomfortable than my vag stitches), deciding whether to continue to pump or just exclusively breastfeed (for number 2, im going to do BOTH!), dry cracked nipples that hurt like a biatch with each latch (I LOVE YOU, lanolin), fears of 'nipple confusion' from too much googling. Who knew breastfeeding can go sideways in so many ways?! Max breastfed until 18 months when he decided he wanted to stop, im still kinda bummed about it but also happy that I went that far.

Before I became a mom, I thought my kid would have a short sleep adjustment period but eventually take after me and sleep like a pro ...never even heard of 'sleep training' issues.

I dont know how many times i've written or mentioned sleep on this blog but Max is no pro. At 21 months he still wakes up once a night and we still move in and sleep with him. For naps, he's good with sleeping about 2 hours on average with a soother that pops in and out. Ah well, i've taken this as a no big deal thing now because im totally used to the lack of thorough, uninterrupted sleep and actually enjoy co-sleeping with him. i am wondering though if we have another child how i'm going to repeat this or would I (??) to begin with because what would be the other kid's room has no space for the ever-so-convenient twin bed that allowed for the many interventions to get Max to sleep. hmmm...

Before I became a mom, I thought i'd be a minimalist and have a couple of toys, a few clothes, and the bare minimum in baby gear.

Well we definitely aren't minimalist as we've enjoyed the convenience of 'stuff' that has made first time parenting just a little easier (seriously, is a diaper genie really essential? no. but we have one anyways). Kid's clothes are SO CUTE. I love buying them, but I don't go nuts or spend too much as I have insight on how fast these kids grow. Plus, you get so many clothes as gifts  that you don't even need to buy at times...we've been blessed! As for toys, i'm thankful for the toys Max has been gifted, and also thankful for craigslist.

Before I became a mom, I thought I could hand my kid off to a baby sitter or my parents so I can do things for myself (ie. go to a concert), guilt free.

Aside from work, the longest i've been away from Max to do something for myself was 2-3 hours. I think we were going to a concert? or a dinner with friends? as evidenced by my poor memory, this was a LONG TIME AGO. I do remember looking at my phone of pictures of Max and telling Gene that I missed my baby. I think I even kind of rushed exiting the whole event so I can get back to Max. Today, I still kind of feel this way. if i did need to do something for myself, i have no qualms with leaving Max with Gene...but I dont really like giving him away to my parents so I can do extra curricular activities. he's never slept over at anyone else's house without us, he's either always with both of us or one of us (if i'm working on the weekend though, Gene get's his little break by letting my parents have him for 2-3 hours, but I think he misses him too as it never overlaps into Max's nap time).

Before I became a mom, I thought I had all the time in the world to do what i wanted to do , the kid will just adapt.

Today, activities are scheduled with and or around meal times, nap times, poo times, and bed time in mind. I can still do activities I like to do, but if I can help it, i prefer to stay within our +/- 30-45 minute established schedule for Max's well being. kids thrive off of structure and some predictability right? his quality of life is paramount, and directly affects my quality of life too. he sleeps well, i sleep well..YES!! win-win!!

Before I became a mom, I thought my kid would just go with the flow.

I wanted to get a haircut and I asked my sister to just push Max in the stroller around the mall for 20 minutes or so (he was sleeping anyways). From the second (I mean this literally) I departed, I was told Max woke up and screamed and cried the entire time I was getting a haircut. I could hear a baby cry from the hair dresser's seat and I would see my sister's reflection in the mirror- pacing nervously in front of the entrance checking if I was done the entire time. I think she's still traumatized, hahaha!

Before I became a mom, I thought I was pretty happy.

Then I had my baby. And despite the crying, the sleep deprivation, the tantrums, the unpredictability, the job that is never-ending/24-7/365 days a year, motherhood has brought a whole new meaning to life- it's just so much more meaningful. i've said this so.many.times on this blog, motherhood is the hardest thing i've ever done in my life, but it is also the most fulfilling, rewarding, my greatest accomplishment.

Featured!

My blog and I have been featured! Thanks to the ladies Talia and Sandra from the Pink Pearl PR  for their questions.

Read our interview for Mommy Monday HERE!! 

ABOUT ME! 5 Things

Y'know this blog is really all about Max, but when it comes to me, im not so narcissistic transparent.
I saw the idea of 5 things during my 1 hour a night (childless free time to brush up on what is going on in the world) and thought it'd be perfect for you to get to know me! ahem, the one writing this blog and taking all the photos! Are you interested? If so, read on...

Five things you don't know about me:

1) I don't drink coffee. i love the smell of it when packages are opened and when it's brewing. i sometimes have frapp's from JJBean or Starbucks. But all in all, i cant stand the taste of hot coffee. makes me want to gag. it must be frappe'd for me to even attempt it. coffee flavored things are yummy though..anything but hot coffee! 

2)When I was 6 years old. My mom, sister and I were walking through circa 1989 Hastings/Chinatown area and i vividly remember a guy asking my mom if he can "buy me." I see flashbacks of my mom gripping my hand tight and immediately entering a random store or restaurant just to get in a more safer zone. I slightly recall wondering what the guy meant. this was one of my first memories as a new immigrant in Canada!

3) Before Max, I was an AMAZING sleeper. The only thing that separated me from being unconscious was a pillow (3 pillows to be specific), seriously! i'd be out like a light; beautiful, restful, dreamfilled, enviable, drug-free snoozes. Now, I have mommy ears and I hear everything - that wakes me up. I am so used to waking up in the middle of the night that I wake because I haven't been woken up. oy. surprisingly though, i can function quite efficiently if not sharper than if i did get enough sleep. 

4) I dont 'do' tattoos. The thought of permanence scares the shit out of me, especially when there could be something I was dissatisfied with about the tattoo...even a minute error in design. I would focus and focus and focus on it and quite possibly even affect my quality of life. Suffice it to say, I have no tattoos.

5) I love Bon Jovi. I love Jon Bon Jovi. They're my favorite band of all time and I think i've subconsciously chosen men in my life based on the level of physical similarities to Jon Bon Jovi.

Five things I am knowledgeable about:

1) acute care nursing. hey, I spent 9 years in the busiest and craziest unit of BC and I survived. I dont know everything but damn, im prepared to handle anything. ok, maybe im not too happy getting the sickest patients on the unit but i'm going to keep your family alive to the best of my abilities and try to fit in a break or two without burdening the system with overtime.

2) Oral hygiene. I am quite anal when it comes to my teeth. I love going to my dental hygienist and getting my teeth scaled and cleaned (i can't stand the fluoride though), is that TMI?  I have no cavities, never had braces, my teeth aren't perfect but my goal is to keep all my teeth when i'm old without any root canals, bridges, dentures etc. this probably came from the fear of old time dentists in my homeland where instead of fixing your teeth they just pulled out your teeth.

3) I love chips and i've had every single chip out there. it's a terrible vice that I succumb to whenever im experiencing some underlying stress or personal weakness. I love all chips, I dont think there is a chip i'll refuse. however, since getting pregnant ive had a mild aversion to strange flavored chips because i cringe at the thought of the chemicals that produced the simulated flavour..so although i wont exactly refuse if it was offered, i won't be buying it on my accord.

4) spelling. im quite the precisionist when it comes to spelling things correctly (grammar though, if you've been reading my blog all this time, is not my forte). i particularly am totally turned off when simple words are spelled incorrectly and I have to tell myself not to be one of those people pointing out spelling errors in blog posts and messages. (if i made an spelling error though, please tell me). for example, I can't stand when people use 'women' when they mean 'woman.' Argh! 

5) installing laminate floors, tiling, and painting. i'm no expert by any means but we did the renovations to our apartment DIY, I can do this! my dad is an awesome teacher for all of this home renovation stuff (i would say he's an expert), he's so good and it just looks so easy when he does it. if i wanted someone around me to boost my confidence, it would be my dad. 

Five things I know nothing about:

1) Pro sports. I dont watch hockey games, know nothing about football games aside from basic terminology. I dont watch sports on TV. I'm not a fan of any sports team. I dont care about sports on tv! 

2) cooking Filipino food. I remember my mom telling us to study instead of helping her out with the cooking when we were growing up, so although i LOVE EATING EVERYTHING she cooks, i unfortunately don't know how to cook any of her amazing dishes. it makes me nervous thinking about this because obviously my mom won't live forever, im also too busy with Max to go over and learn or she's already cooked it and tells me to come over and eat. filipino cooking is NOT stir fry fast food, it takes hours! my mom cooks the best foods, and i need to learn! one for the bucket list. 

3) i just started delving into the world of medical bioethics. i don't know anything about it (and clearly, the world isnt as black and white as it may seem) but i'm reading a textbook of some sort to introduce me into this field (tip of the iceberg). it's really really interesting and i love talking about issues without it turning into an argument (y'know what i mean?) just intelligent discussions learning from one another without judgement. 

4) gardening. i have kept my house plants alive without issue but if i were to plant a garden (plot and maintain for regrowth next year) it goes in one ear and out the other. i just want to reap the rewards. my husband though is a great gardener and knows how to plan, where to plant, cultivate, prune and even has dreams of future landscaping if we were ever able to afford a house. yeah, i don't have dreams like those. 

5) driving. yep you heard it. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE. i haven't driven since 1999 after i got my class 7. i know i'm not alone here! it's a detriment to my constant need for independence. im just not driven (no pun intended) since i live within walking distance to everything and major skytrain and transit lines. 

Five things I believe:

1) after working in palliative care, ive realized death can be beautiful. it's how I want to die and how i would want my loved ones to die ...and maybe even on the unit i am working on if that were an option. 

2) achieving a work-life balance is paramount. mom's can't take care of their babies unless they're taking care of themselves (or being taken care of). as with nurses; they can't take care of others unless they take care of themselves first and foremost. 

3) a good healthy breakfast will set the tone for the day. I feel like shit if i ate eggs/bacon/toast/grease for breakfast and for some reason, i either end up eating crappy foods for the rest of the day or skipping meals to compensate. but if i ate a healthy breakfast, I find I feel like i have more energy and make better decisions/choices. i also feel a satisfying fatigue but not sluggish by the end of the day...am i alone here? (i love bacon though so i do give in every now and then ;op)

4) everything in moderation including moderation. some days you just gotta spend all that money and splurge on want you WANT and not necessarily need. some days you just have to eat at that awesome buffet! as long as it isnt happening all the time, do it. 

5) there will never be anything as amazing, frustrating, rewarding, and frightening than being a mother. I am so happy to have this opportunity. 

Well that's all she wrote! This post got me thinking. It wasn't easy but I thoroughly enjoyed writing it. What about you? Tell me about yourself! 

Mom of The Week

Check out my feature as the Mumfection Mom of the Week!

Thank you to Eschelle at Mumfection!

Dear First Time Mom

**Now that Max has turned 18 months, im feeling a personal milestone in the parenting department. Hey I made it to the toddler stage! Now this also has me reflecting on my first time parent experience, here's a letter i would have love to have handy when i first brought Max home from the hospital...

^^ not feeling and looking so glamorous about 7 hours after Max was born! ^^ 

Dear First Time Mom,

First and foremost, Congratulations on your new little miracle!

Remember the first night at the hospital after Max was born, he didn't cry at all! He just slept and slept, and was so sleepy that I had to wake him to spoon feed him my colostrum. Remember relishing at the idea that hey, i had an easy pregnancy...maybe i also have an easy baby! Wishful thinking. Life as you know it will change, and you know what? The changes to come have all been experienced, your experiences are normal, you will survive, you can do this!

The first couple of nights at home on your own will be your biggest adjustment period. You will not sleep because you don't have a see through bassinette and you want to see what is going on with your baby. Why is he not making any noises? shouldnt he be crying? shouldn't i be feeding him on a regular schedule? IS HE ALIVE? yes, my dear he is and this is just the calm before the storm.

Please swaddle Max. He needs to sleep and his startle reflex keeps waking him up or preventing him from sleeping in the first place. He will cry when he's hungry, don't wake a sleeping beast. Get some rest when he is resting, don't feel the need to do some chores, cook some food, or watch some TV. You need all the rest you can get- i didn't say SLEEP (cuz we all know you're so paranoid that you won't be doing any of that) - rest, file all that information into your brain and reset before you blow up on your husband and shut him out completely. Vicious cycle.

Don't over pump. Pump until those breastROCKS go away but not until you feel totally comfortable. This is just telling your brain to make more milk. You will be engorged for a little while, but not as long as if you keep sending your brain the wrong messages! Breastfeed but also offer the bottle (breastmilk) so dad can bond with Max....but more importantly, so it's not solely up to you, and YOU alone.

Max will cry and he won't stop crying until his needs are met, it's his main way of communication! Take it from me, always offer the breast. At first he will cry all.the.time, and you know why? he's hungry! Then he'll develop some reserves, and it'll be every hour or so, then a couple of hours, and then you'll eventually see a pattern and develop some sort of predictable schedule. If he's fussy, give the boob. You just fed him 30 minutes ago? Give the boob! And speaking of boobs, protect those nipples and use Lanolin before it's too late! Dry, cracked, nipples + suckling baby = OUCH.

Treat your husband well. He doesn't know what to do but he is trying to help. Max won't like him for the next 2-3 months or so because dad really can't offer him any food (read, provide a bottle option), but it makes things worse when you start fights with him and make him feel inconsequential. Max needs a dad and you need your husband.

Don't buy stuff unless you need it and read the reviews prior. You live in an apartment and you're on maternity leave, create a budget and stick with it! No you don't need to renovate, no you don't need to buy THAT, take it easy and enjoy the family moments. Furthermore, take some time for yourself to be alone and check in on yourself. It'll be great for dad to learn to cope with Max, and you to learn to cope without baby, and baby to learn to cope with other people other than mamma!

You will be sleep deprived. Your body will adjust.

There are families just like yours all around the world, with mom's experiencing the same things or have already experienced the same issues. Focus on your strengths, embrace challenges, and refine as a parent. You are not alone. You can do it. It will get better.

Mitzi

^^ Max's 1 week birthday. I wore this pink robe every.single.day lol ^^

**thanks Carolyn for this great post idea! Read her first time mom letter HERE

Anniversary

We are still together, going strong, and i dont deny that it is hard work! 

Happy 14 year anniversary to my husband! 

(ok 14 dating, 5 years of marriage)

Vancouver's Top Mom Blogger?! What the What?

 ^^ full article ^^

Congratulations to the Top 30 fabulous Vancouver Mom Bloggers!

| 1-6 | | 7-12 | 13-18 | 19-24 | 25-30 |

Thank you so much to my friends, family, strangers; domestic and international, who were receptive to my campaigning and voted for my blog and I! I am happy, nervous, and lost for words xoxo

Thank you to VancouverMom.ca for annually recognizing amazing women and mothers, as well as exposing resources and sources of support for Lower Mainland parents! "No man is an island."

FAQ's -->

where does 'mitzdemeanor' come from?

in my quest to create an internet identity, i just happen to hear Missy 'Misdemeanor' Elliot playing something on the radio and i was inspired.

what is your blog about?

my blog shares bits and pieces of my little family's life through pictures and stories. I'm by no means seasoned enough to give advice on motherhood, but i love sharing my experiences with a light and positive though real perspective. what you see on the blog is never full picture. For safety and privacy, there is plenty of information we don't share and as Max get's older, his role in the blog will also change. 

Is your blog your full time job?

though it may appear i blog quite often, it is something i do for fun part time. i work full time as a palliative care nurse at one of Vancouver's major hospitals (we ease the symptoms of terminally ill patients so they are not suffering).  Aside from work, I'm also a mom of a toddler. thats my other full time job (phew)!  my husband works seasonally, and is the primary care giver of our son when I'm working and of course full time supporter of myself!

what camera do you use?

I have a Canon Rebel t3i with a 50mm lens that i always shoot with. for when my hands are full, i have a Canon SD1000 point and shoot (super old) as well as a phone camera with terrible resolution.

What blogs do you read?

When i do have time to chill out, my blog roll consists of Cup of Jo, Apartment Baby, Loquacious Family, Nat the Fat Rat and Definitely Raining! 

How can I get a hold of you?

mitzdemeanor [at] gmail.com

twitter @mitzdemeanor

instagram: mitzdemeanor

I do NOT have a smartphone (ie. iPhone, Blackberry with data), my response times are not immediate

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more F.A.Q!

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Dog Owner Rant

letting a kid be a kid

you know how kids pick up almost everything and almost without hesitation put it in their mouths? Well Max isn't always like that, he's actually pretty timid in the way that if he picks up something he shows it to me first before putting it in his mouth. Of course, there are plenty of times when i miss those cues and it's already in his mouth, but he always acts in a way that triggers me to check his mouth and fish something out STAT.

Last week we were playing at the park, a giant grass field. And you know what Max picks up? A piece of dog shit! Yeah you got it, a nasty mofo log that a mofo owner was too lazy to pick up. Judging from the size of it, it was a small dog and a lazy ass owner who thought he/she can just let the grass mask his irresponsible fur-parenting. if Max had put this in his mouth, i could just imagine the cascade of trauma i would have had to put this kid through to clean it out of his system. Come to think of it, he doesnt even know how to swish and spit! i wouldnt even know where to begin with how to clean it out of him without knowing that he would've ingested and possibly absorbed some of the nastiness and subsequently put his health at risk! ARGH!!! Thankfully im quite the helicopter parent and also that he just showed me the log after he squished it through his fingers. The only intervention needed was to cut the day short as we had to go home and wash up. I laugh at the thought of such a huge park and Max picking up the one thing that is so incredibly and utterly disgusting! 

To further add to my annoyances, Gene and Max went to the playground at Trout Lake. It was reported to me that unleashed dogs were urinating near the beach area (which is near the playground) and running around supervised, though unleashed near the new playground that was being built. FML this area is where kids play! The off leashed area is way on the other side of the lake and here we have inconsiderate owners who let their dogs run free near playing children. ARGH!!! To add, the kids area is filled with dog poo thanks to owners who don't pick up after them . Seriously, where are the bylaws officers? Park rangers? Common sense? Common courtesy? 

When I see Dog Owners Not Picking Up Their Dog's #2

dream come true!

i am so excited come July 10th as my friends and i have tickets to see the Package Tour! if you havent heard it's New Kids On the Block, 98  Degrees, and Boyz II Men in one concert- yes, i am a 90's kid!

I've been wanting to see NKOTB since i was oh about 7 years old when they were at the height of their career. i remember going to our friend Francis and Marie's house often to watch the 3 New Kids VHS tapes they owned and totally drooling, swooning over Jordan Knight  singing and dancing to Step By Step- which to this day i can still sing along to, especially when they each do the "step one one one.." part. i know im not alone here! im really thinking of getting a crimper from somewhere just to go that extra mile, oh and hey bring my Jordan doll and New Kids cards to complete the outfit and experience?

 
remember these?

as for Boyz II Men and 98 Degrees, it's really just icing on the cake!  in comparison (but really no comparison to the greatness that was NKOTB) this band is the Backstreet Boys and Bieber of my lifetime. i dont really understand the big deal of todays boy bands (because im old i know), but i definitely can relate to being a tween and wondering how everyone can not love everything about them! i bet a majority of the audience will be in the 28-38 y/o female category...totally my generation! can you tell im excited?

i am totally going to be one of these fangirls at the concert!

classic BOYZ II MEN

im not a huge fan, but this song is part of my Christmas music

 must-hear-at-least-once to put me in the holiday spirit

i love reminiscing memories like this!

Songs of Nostalgia

back in August at the pool

As much as i'd love for lullabies to work on the little man, they dont. but lullabies aren't just for sleeping right? they can be sung any time of day and maybe even 20 or more times a day. one better at least enjoy the songs they're singing!

i have 2 particular songs i like to sing to Max because they're 2 songs i distinctly remember from my childhood back in the homeland (there's the other issue which i've also mentioned HERE). One is in Tagalog, and the other is in Visaya- a Philippine dialect which i don't at all understand. one of those 'it sounds like Tagalog, i feel like i should know it, but if i listen closely, no i don't.' Who knows what i mean? Singing these songs just makes me feel connected to my inner (and outer) Pinay and super nostalgic. im actively passing my heritage to this little half breed and i'll be damned an unhappy mamma if he grows up not knowing what's flowing in his blood!

One of my few early song memories is when someone sang "Bahay Kubo" to me. This song brings forth a deeper tagalog. im UNfamiliar with about 97% of the words in the song, but the tune is 100% deeply routed in my memory. My dad started singing it to Max, and then i was like, 'oh yeah...' so i hit up the internet and literally forced (but happily) myself to memorize this song. I thought it meant something different all this time in terms of translation, but alas, its about a little nippa hut. Max does fist pumps and 'sings' whenever someone sings this with him (by singing i mean he sings one note for a prolonged time- i love it when he does this)!

Bahay Kubo 

Bahay kubo, kahit munti,   (my humble hut may look tiny)

ang halaman doon, ay sari-sari. (but the veggies around it, sure are many.)

Singkamas at talong, sigarilyas at mani, (yam beans and eggplant, wing'd beans and peanuts)

sitaw, bataw, patani. (string hyacinth, and lima beans)

Kundol, patola, upo’t kalabasa,  (winter melon and loofah)

at saka meron pa, labanos, mustasa. (and there is more, radish and mustard!)

Sibuyas, kamatis, bawang at luya. (onions, tomatoes, garlic, and ginger)

Sa paligid-ligid, ay puno ng linga! (if you look around, sesame seeds abound!)

Our second song is called "Ili Ili Tulog Anay" which means 'sleep for awhile' in the aforementioned Visaya dialect. This one i definitely remember my dad singing to my sister and I when we were kids during bedtime or just anytime to calm us down in prep for sleep. Again, my dad sang this to Max but not as much as the first song probably because to him this is an actual lullaby and he isn't trying to put Max to sleep at any time. 

Ili Ili, Tulog Anay

Ili-ili tulog anay,  (sleep for a while)

Wala diri imong nanay.  (your mother is not here)

Kadto tienda bakal papay. (went to the market to buy bread)

Ili-ili tulog anay (sleep for awhile)

does it make you feel sleepy? hehe

do you have any special songs with your little ones?