The Last Time

While currently right smack in the middle of a sleep regression (well it has actually been 3 weeks or so and going strong) and finding myself googling if my daughter's symptoms are "normal," this poem pops up on my Facebook feed and instantly brings me back down to Earth. No harm in whining and complaining, but damn I AM going to enjoy my last baby and the 1 year off I have for my children:

The Last Time

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
you will never be the same.
You might long for the person you were before, 
When you have freedom and time,
And nothing in particular to worry about.

You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
Full of feedings and burping,
Nappy changes and crying,
Whining and fighting,
Naps or a lack of naps,
It might seem like a never-ending cycle.

But don’t forget …
There is a last time for everything.
There will come a time when you will feed
your baby for the very last time.
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down,
And never pick them up that way again.
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
They will hold your hand to cross the road,
Then never reach for it again.
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.

One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus”
and do all the actions,
Then never sing them that song again.
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
Until there are no more times.
And even then, it will take you a while to realize.

So while you are living in these times,
remember there are only so many of them
and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.
For one last time.

-Author Unknown-

Words of Parenting

love these words

Before I Became A Mom

Before I became a mom, I wanted an elective c-section

The roots of my vaginal birth aversion came from a nursing school experience. Essentially, I watched a mom during her last minutes of labor and then through delivery of a healthy baby. Basically I had my eyes peeled to her vag from pulsating --> to ring of fire --> to baby out. To other's it was a beautiful moment, to a 20 year old female student with children nowhere in the near forecast, everything about the experience was ghastly. The only thing that turned the tide was discovering I was pregnant, and clarity set in.

Before I became a mom, I was set on exercising every day throughout my pregnancy, eating right, and gaining only the minimum amount of weight (25lbs)

Well I walked a lot. I tried swimming for a couple of weeks and eventually went shopping instead to fulfill my daily cardio requirements. I ate like I always ate, except that Coke tasted ever.so.good that I even bought a case or two or three for the first time in my life. I have to admit that that was officially my pregnancy craving, as today I would drink it more so for the fact that it feels good going down my throat than me loving how it tastes.  I gained 40ish pounds in the end.

Before I became a mom, I thought breastfeeding was easy; like stick the mouth to your nipple easy.

Breastfeeding was initially a struggle because I didn't really understand the concept of feed baby + brain = body makes milk accordingly. I definitely had struggles with engorgement (those "breast rocks" were more uncomfortable than my vag stitches), deciding whether to continue to pump or just exclusively breastfeed (for number 2, im going to do BOTH!), dry cracked nipples that hurt like a biatch with each latch (I LOVE YOU, lanolin), fears of 'nipple confusion' from too much googling. Who knew breastfeeding can go sideways in so many ways?! Max breastfed until 18 months when he decided he wanted to stop, im still kinda bummed about it but also happy that I went that far.

Before I became a mom, I thought my kid would have a short sleep adjustment period but eventually take after me and sleep like a pro ...never even heard of 'sleep training' issues.

I dont know how many times i've written or mentioned sleep on this blog but Max is no pro. At 21 months he still wakes up once a night and we still move in and sleep with him. For naps, he's good with sleeping about 2 hours on average with a soother that pops in and out. Ah well, i've taken this as a no big deal thing now because im totally used to the lack of thorough, uninterrupted sleep and actually enjoy co-sleeping with him. i am wondering though if we have another child how i'm going to repeat this or would I (??) to begin with because what would be the other kid's room has no space for the ever-so-convenient twin bed that allowed for the many interventions to get Max to sleep. hmmm...

Before I became a mom, I thought i'd be a minimalist and have a couple of toys, a few clothes, and the bare minimum in baby gear.

Well we definitely aren't minimalist as we've enjoyed the convenience of 'stuff' that has made first time parenting just a little easier (seriously, is a diaper genie really essential? no. but we have one anyways). Kid's clothes are SO CUTE. I love buying them, but I don't go nuts or spend too much as I have insight on how fast these kids grow. Plus, you get so many clothes as gifts  that you don't even need to buy at times...we've been blessed! As for toys, i'm thankful for the toys Max has been gifted, and also thankful for craigslist.

Before I became a mom, I thought I could hand my kid off to a baby sitter or my parents so I can do things for myself (ie. go to a concert), guilt free.

Aside from work, the longest i've been away from Max to do something for myself was 2-3 hours. I think we were going to a concert? or a dinner with friends? as evidenced by my poor memory, this was a LONG TIME AGO. I do remember looking at my phone of pictures of Max and telling Gene that I missed my baby. I think I even kind of rushed exiting the whole event so I can get back to Max. Today, I still kind of feel this way. if i did need to do something for myself, i have no qualms with leaving Max with Gene...but I dont really like giving him away to my parents so I can do extra curricular activities. he's never slept over at anyone else's house without us, he's either always with both of us or one of us (if i'm working on the weekend though, Gene get's his little break by letting my parents have him for 2-3 hours, but I think he misses him too as it never overlaps into Max's nap time).

Before I became a mom, I thought I had all the time in the world to do what i wanted to do , the kid will just adapt.

Today, activities are scheduled with and or around meal times, nap times, poo times, and bed time in mind. I can still do activities I like to do, but if I can help it, i prefer to stay within our +/- 30-45 minute established schedule for Max's well being. kids thrive off of structure and some predictability right? his quality of life is paramount, and directly affects my quality of life too. he sleeps well, i sleep well..YES!! win-win!!

Before I became a mom, I thought my kid would just go with the flow.

I wanted to get a haircut and I asked my sister to just push Max in the stroller around the mall for 20 minutes or so (he was sleeping anyways). From the second (I mean this literally) I departed, I was told Max woke up and screamed and cried the entire time I was getting a haircut. I could hear a baby cry from the hair dresser's seat and I would see my sister's reflection in the mirror- pacing nervously in front of the entrance checking if I was done the entire time. I think she's still traumatized, hahaha!

Before I became a mom, I thought I was pretty happy.

Then I had my baby. And despite the crying, the sleep deprivation, the tantrums, the unpredictability, the job that is never-ending/24-7/365 days a year, motherhood has brought a whole new meaning to life- it's just so much more meaningful. i've said this so.many.times on this blog, motherhood is the hardest thing i've ever done in my life, but it is also the most fulfilling, rewarding, my greatest accomplishment.

Hurry Up

A few days ago we were at Superstore, and although I did take him to the mall to burn off some steam, I didn't anticipate staying at the store for an HOUR+ circling all of 3 aisles. Max found a lawnmower that he could not let go of. He pushed it around the toy aisles over and over again, back and forth, over and back. When he got tired of the lawnmower, he found a ball that he carried around in circles, then when he got tired of that, he seemed to have forgotten that he already played with the lawnmower because he went right for it again. Did i mention the cycle went on for over an hour? It was cute at first, but not so much when it was nearing nap time- we hadn't eaten yet - and we still had to commute home - all ingredients for a public meltdown!  I can't tell you how many times I said, 'hurry up,' 'come on,' 'bye,' 'let's go,' and 'put it down!'

When Max's bedtime came and went, and i finally had time to diffuse (online no doubt), I came across this article on my facebook feed. Seriously, was the universe trying to tell me something or what?! Facepalm. I felt like a total jerk for getting annoyed and rushing him. This statement rang so true for me, 'I was a bully who pushed and pressured and hurried a small child who simply wanted to enjoy life.'  Y'know, his slowness may have caused us to miss that bus and all our connections, totally inconvenienced...but in the grand scheme of things, are these issues really that important? My little baby was having fun; simple, independent entertainment and he just wanted me to be patient while he he had his moment! Only good things can come out of a child that is happy and enjoying themselves right?! Hindsight is 20/20.

^^ there! There! THERE! ^^

Days since then, i've made a conscious effort to let Max set the pace for our day. Sure I may plan where to go, but we don't have to follow the itinerary like it's set in stone. Sure, Max is SO SLOW because he's got little legs and so.easily.distracted, and my patience is constantly tested- but what's the rush? Not every itemized thing has to be done and checked off. That store will be there tomorrow..and the next day, and the next day. And you know what? Like the author, I too noticed small little things, changes, in Max that I never really paid attention to before because I was so distracted by our schedule. For example, when he's really gung-ho about an activity, his arms swing to and fro, but the right arm swings more and at a faster rate! When we're walking together (holding hands or not), Max takes moments to look up and check on me and smile. Regardless of all the cuteness I witnessed, what impacted me most was that I felt more joy...we were living, not just doing. And I got the sense he felt that way too. 

'Pausing to delight in the simple joys of everyday life is the only way to truly live.'

Got it! 

We let him play until he started to leave the playground because he got bored haha...

^^ bye bye park! ^^ 

Tricks for Life Out and About with Max

im still figuring out life with a toddler in Vancouver. I definitely don't consider myself an expert in this department- some days i wake up and i'm like YES! and there are definitely days when i literally roll out of bed and am like ALREADY? ALL READY?! I wasn't a stay at home type of person before baby, and although some adjustments needed to be made after baby, im feeling like im rocking my old self again lately. Early days still are a killer, but just doing SOMETHING anything besides staying at home really adds quality to the hours of our day. 

I thought i'd share a few little tricks ive learned as a new mamma of 1 for living life out and about. They really aren't genius by any means, in fact, probably your every day type of thing for some, but man alive it sure has made my life easier!

1) prepare frozen meals: 

Before having a child, my husband and i were appalled at the thought of having frozen meals stored in our freezer. we werent great cooks, but we cooked at least 5 dinners out of the week. Through some simple meal planning a week ahead of time, we ate fresh and we ate well. Max is a clingy toddler, it's nearly impossible to prep or cook if you are with him alone. When im working day shift, im gone from 6am to 8pm and my family needs to eat. So a few days in a month, i set aside a time when i make a whole bunch of meals for freezing and for the next few weeks of day shifts to come, Gene can defrost food once they wake up --> the rest of the day to play --> heat and serve up food at dinner time with a simple turn of the oven knob. this really saves us from having to turn to fast foods for our family.

2) wear comfortable shoes

pre-baby, i wasnt a shoe freak. however, i did wear shoes that were not comfortable and required some breaking in processes (like blisters the size of nickels!). post baby, as my feet are vital to activities of daily living, i dare not buy shoes that require some pretty severe breaking in time or i'd be hurting and slowing any possible healing processes meant to occur! good supportive shoes are a must for long walks and fun in the playground and grass fields. on a stylistic note, not all supportive and comfortable shoes are runners or ugly nowadays. For the spring/summer season, ive been recently loving Saltwater Sandals!

3) babywear, babywear, BABYWEAR!

im not sure about your toddler but once mine hits the ground, it's a game of hide and seek where he's off running and hiding from me, and my time is spent chasing him, picking him up, him upset, i put him down ...and the cycle goes on and on. im babywearing Max wherever it's appropriate to keep him contained so i can 1) keep him safe and 2) do what i need to do within a reasonable amount of time. furthermore, im finding a lot of places are just not wheels friendly, and having Max attached just makes travel so much more simple. maybe because i started him on it from when he was a newborn, but It doesnt take much or anything at all to get him on the Ergo, in fact once he sees me buckle it on his arms raise up automatically! on the flip side, wherever it's appropriate, fly like the wind baby boy!

4) never leave home without snacks for baby

there are a few things i carry with me when i go out with Max coin purse (with plastics), phone, keys, pacifier, bus pass, and a snack for Max. as a transit user, my outings take nearly 1.5x longer in commuting time and in that span, Max won't have anything to eat from lunch hour to dinner hours. often Max is ok without eating, but i dare not risk not bringing him something to eat as a hungry baby is inconsolable! believe me, a hysterical hungry baby in a packed bus or sky train is not a pretty site.

5) find a way to nurture yourself

my way of nurturing myself is through plenty of retail therapy. i dont have to buy anything per say, but just walking around keeps me up to date with what's popular and kills 2 birds with 1 stone as babywearing is a workout all on its own. i achieve this time for myself by working around Max's poop time, feeding time, and nap time. The most ideal situation is we have lunch --> wait about 1/2 hour for Max to poop --> change diaper --> Max is ready for a nap --> up on the carrier --> zonked out! --> mama time!

let's hit the road mamma!

Spring Changes!

Ah toddlerhood!

 Honestly, though i have said "i liked it when he was more stationary" once or twice in the last few months, this 13-14 months old stage has got to be my all time favorite life stage so far!

doing 'wheelies' at 14 months!

i've just recently realized that i havent whipped out the stroller in so so so long because the ERGO keeps Max CONTAINED. To illustrate, if i didn't have the ERGO, Max would be whining like crazy wanting to be picked up then put down then picked up (again and again), darting out into the streets or through a sea of big people, refusing to hold my hand as we walk, falling down stairs, climbing anything and everything. oh you know, normal stuff for his age that would triple the time allotted for our errands and basically make my heart jump because i'm scared for his life and safety!

Ever since i've been back to work, i've seen some big changes in the father son bonding that im most definitely happy about with a little hint of jealousy (hey im no longer in denial that 'dada' was his first word and even when he sees husband from afar he goes 'dada' and runs to him! aww). aside from the fact that i speak to him in a total different language, i think Max knows that with mama __x__ happens, and with daddy __x__ happens instead. with some expected good days and bad days, Max has definitely adapted (and so have we) to our new schedules. Gene and I have our own little routines, give shift reports to one another, and most importantly are now working better together (and less fighting) when it comes to the child rearing. Phew, our marriage survived! 

what boy doesn't love trains?

Sleep in the house is still an issue, but when will it ever not be right? i think once one becomes a parent, they'll always be wondering if their child is ok whether they still live with them or not...and this equates to sleep quality nowhere near pre-baby days! When i'm off, I co-sleep with Max after his first night wake, and Gene does the same when im on my work set. This is really working out well as instead of waking up at 530am/6am and starting days off early, Max is waking up at 700-730am, it totally makes a huge difference in his mood when he not only gets a good nights sleep but sees us beside him when his eyes first open. We do let him CIO after the bed time routine just so he knows how to put himself to sleep sans pacifier, in his crib, and alone in his room- im waiting for the day when all of these dots are connected for 10+ hours of uninterrupted sleep nights! Bedtime continues to be at 8pm, and get this...we dropped a nap, and now only have 1 nap a day! Usually a 1.5-2 hour nap, but this is definitely a significant change in the routine as we have always known.

Though i still breastfeed twice a day (first wakeup feed, before bed feed), i only do this when i'm off. During my day shift, i dont attempt to dream feed or even wake Max up early to nurse. I just let him sleep and Gene says he has adapted. When i come home from a day shift, I continue to give Max his bedtime feed which has significantly changed from 6min (in January), to a whopping 20-30 minute nursing session per demand! During my night shift, I no longer feed him before going to work because he refuses (too full from dinner) and there have been night shift transition days when i dont even feed him for 24 hours, and again, Gene says he's adapted. I have noticed though that his morning feeds are quite short, more like a snack in terms of time length...i think a weaning process for me and him has started. I am ok with this rate, but not this rate!

Im really happy with what's been going on lately in terms of our work-life schedules and balance. I'm trying to not get TOO comfortable though as i think Max's senses it and thus decides to change things up again...it'll always be something!

Right and Wrong. Wakeup Parent!

photo credit

We've been taking Max to Strong Start oh for about 2 months now and yes, for the majority of the time he is there things are well, he is thriving, and having a lot of f-u-n! When Gene tells me how their school days go, there are always stories that include unruly kids who are CRAZY  need a time out and it makes me laugh. However, more often than not Gene tells me about kids who have picked on Max and this just makes me want to blow a gasket!

Ok, so kids will be kids and kids of the 0-5 age don't always know any better. I never hold it against the child per say, but i honestly feel a surge of heat and visualize an act of verbal assaults (directed at the parent) when i see/hear the parents are either absent (too busy gossiping with other parents), just let things go without telling the kid what they're doing is right or wrong and thus not correct them, or just present physically but too busy on their mobiles to even know WTF is happening. 

• mom is too busy chatting with her people and thus too busy to notice that her crazy son is terrorizing other kids (kicking toys, tackling other kids, running around like a mad person and creating hazards for the already over populated room)
• the one f'n toy that Max is playing with, a kid rips it out of his hand and takes off (mom does nothing) - this happens one too many times 
• Max (13 months) is in the way of a kid (over 2 y/o) who wants to pass him, so the kid slaps Max on the chest or pushes him out of the way
• Max is playing and having fun walking around, so a kid gets a pillow and shoves him "gently" to the ground

My blood is boiling. Max is one of the smaller and younger kids in the group, he is definitely vulnerable. What does Gene do when he sees these things? Fortunately, he's more in a state of calmness and will talk gently to the kid (or at least this is the story I get). When I see these things, I also say something in the realms of "be careful, he's a baby" or "Dont ________," sometimes the parent/guardian is present and right then and there we 2 adults 2 kids talk and settle. Again, other times....ARGH, i just end up giving the mom the evil eye as they're doing NOTHING. I cant believe the makings of a bully (and even the presence of bullies) start at these tender ages! 

What should I do with these parents when they're not to be found? Im really inclined to say something snarky and condescending when i see trends in behavior and lack of parenting follow up. There really isnt a relationship with these women that i would be sorry to lose, but the peace keeper that i am i just dont want to start stuff up! I just want to protect my child, prevent my son from learning/adopting such behavior, and prevent these kids from becoming news headlines in the future!

When I See Parents Not Paying Attention To Their Misbehaving Kid(s)

Chop Chop!

before! something about baby hair that is just so soft, 

only needs water daily to look fresh, and just so precious

we finally decided to trim Max's hair. that bumbo that's been gathering dust since his infant days was an asset for the stated task as Max was not at all too happy and terribly squirmy during the entire session. an old receiving blanket secured at the back with a chip clip was adequate for a drape. despite some tears, the entire task took less than 10 minutes! my mom recommends that i keep cutting his hair ultra short until some arbitrary age so when he's older he'll have thick luscious locks. also, if we keep cutting his hair, he'll be a taller person when he grows up as his body will supply appropriate nutrition to his developing systems- not to feed hair follicles related to maintaining a long head of hair. have you heard of these old wives tales before? i wonder if there is some truth to them!

that piece with the rubber band is so i can keep a lock of it in his baby book

chop chop!

he really enjoys playing with my comb and even knows the motion

 for combing his hair when i say "suklay" (comb, in Tagalog)

the new do care of husband and sharp scissors

his very first bowl cut! xoxoxo

currently Max looks like he has straight light brown hair with signs of waviness when wet or after wearing a hat. i wonder what type of hairstyle Max will have in the future? i wonder what'll be trendy 8-10 years from now when i think boys start caring about their hairstyles? i would love to grow Max's hair to a medium length like this. i think ill be hearing plenty of protests along the way! for now, i'll just have some fun with apps to play and dream with...check out some examples from a previous post here.

Indoor Fun

the look of F-U-N

I'm now living with a child who no longer can tolerate prolonged periods on the stroller! (gasp) We have a tagalog word for kids like this, "Malikot" (i think that's how you spell it), it means restless, ansy, go-go-go! Gone are the days when Max would just sit for hours and fall asleep, watch the hustle and bustle of life, eat, back in the stroller, and probably fall asleep again. When out, i get about an hour or so of stroller time before he arches his back, stretches out his arms, tears start flowing, and he must be let out and walk around. I used to judge parents who had those backpack leashes for their kid, recently i've contemplated the perks of having one- but i think it's a decision that shouldnt be made lightly. 

indoor activity idea #1- reading. He loves his books!

I hate to admit it but i'm pretty tired during my days off. Sleep is definitely not the same since having a child, and definitely not any easier working shifts with a child who wants you and only you (i want to consolidate my pre-work naps, not stagger!). We've been having plenty of indoor days as my body tries to adjust to these new hours all the while noting what works and what doesnt work (trial and error). trying to figure out the ideal schedule for me and techniques to keep Max distracted without too much whining and tears is a slow process!

indoor activity #2: balloons

Max has been obsessed with this balloon for at least 3 days now. At first it was floating full of fresh helium, now it's just a ball on the floor which he picks up by the string and waves around hitting himself as he runs across the room shrieking in delight. nothing beats cheap + simple sources of lengthy  entertainment! i realize rubber balloons are a major choking hazard once deflated, but i'm always supervising his play.

indoor activity #3: soccer balls

my mom gave Max this soccer ball when he was too small to do anything with it. I've seen the progression of him just enjoy looking at it, then pass the ball to me, and now he's learning to control the ball with little kicks and foot manipulations! No joke! Perhaps a futball star in the making? He gets so excited watching us do little kicks from one foot to the other or just follow the ball around the house but doing some not-anywhere-near-fancy footwork. Kids are so easy to please sometimes I tell you!

Ah days off....they come by so slow, yet goes by so fast. I so miss my little man when im working xoxo

It's a Toddler!

[Today I had 2 mini breaks from my baby responsibilities due to work related issues and the fact that husband is developing his own little night routine with Max for when I am no longer available. Husband did great, Max was status quo, and well the only one who really was affected was ME - signs of my mat leave ending! Change! Insert anxiety right about NOW!]

Max has been so fun to watch lately! Ever since he learned to walk, he's evolving ever so rapidly. Daily, he's been 90% walking around the apartment. When i lower him to the ground, it's no longer bum down but feet down! he paces all around the house (like the energizer bunny) deciding on his own where to go, where to turn, where to run from. He goes to toys that he wants and plays, he goes to our cat and lowers his body to pet him or attempt to kiss him, and when one of us is in another room we don't hear crawling, but instead see a little person walk into the room and greet us with his smiles and babbles. I love this little man!

July 2012, Still a baby! 

January 2013, look at this toddler!

As Max's first birthday draws near, i have to say im feeling more confident in the parenting department - like "Hey what are we naming our second child?" type of confident! We survived first time parenthood, our marriage survived, Max is thriving, this has been the best year of my life and according  many other mom's out there, it just gets better from here! Excited! 

This time last year we were prepping for a newborn. Then he became an infant. In a week or so he'll be an official toddler. This time next year, a little boy! 

52 Realizations of 2012 (baby related, naturally)

1. best year of my life (so far) 
2. having my family close by is an immeasurable gift
3. you will lose friends, gain plenty of new friends, and strengthen some of your existing friendships 
4. it's really helpful to have nurses and nurse mamma's within reach of a simple text or email
5. i despise sleepers with buttons and snaps
6. kitchen cornstarch works wonders to maintain skin integrity
7. the most economical places to buy Pampers are at Superstore and Walmart (16-18cents each)
8. all baby stuff is cute and appears necessary. consult blogs and reviews before buying (i used Amazon reviews a lot!)
9. videotape not just photograph your baby, there are just things that need to be captured in motion
10. change table covers just add to the laundry load. dont put a cover on it --> easier to clean and sanitize --> less laundry
11. baby finger nails grow really fast, theyre like talons. get a nail trimmer
12. if you have medium to long hair, a hair tie around your wrist is your new bling
13. have a velcro swaddler option. unless you absolutely know you're a pro-swaddler, in the dark while sleep deprived
14. plain warm water bath for babes is perfect
15. the more i read up online about baby behavior (ie. anything sleep related), the more confused i got about what to expect
16. grandma may be giving some unsolicited advice, but she only has the best intentions in mind
17. no parents have died from sleep deprivation. accept it, but also know it will get better
18. lanolin are your nipples' best friend 
19. always offer the breast  (i was exclusively breastfeeding)
20. i love midwife care, particularly post partum care
21. i cant live without a stroller or a baby carrier. invest in these products
22. you will fight with your husband
23. maternity leave goes by fast (even if Canadians have 50 weeks). it was the greatest test of my patience, but also the most rewarding time of my life
24. kids really get a kick out of kitchen utensils, pots and pans. fancy toys are not always necessary
25. if buying shoes, choose ones with the elastic element on the achilles part (think Robeez), there's no struggle to get them on their chubby feet 
26. when they say, 'it only takes a split second' this is absolutely TRUE. Don't leave your kids unattended
27. the toys (ie. remote) that you dont want to give the baby- they will constantly seek that object. but if you give them their own remote and do not inhibit them from playing with it, they could care less about it
28. finding your baby's tickle spots and hearing them laugh is the best all around sound
29. falling is part of learning, you can't baby proof the entire house
30. baby's relationship with dad is different than with you. dont get upset with dad if they're not doing something the way you do it
31. it is really hard to be a first time parent alone. if it seems like dad isnt doing much, see the bigger picture and picture life without ANY help (even a set of eyes so you can shower is a big deal)
32. baby wearing can instantly change a fussy baby's demeanour
33. i never knew i was so maternal until Max came along
34. you will develop arms of steel from carrying the baby around. who needs the gym?
35. you will become a multitasking pro with the use of one arm - baby on the left, cooking-putting on makeup- feeding the cat - tidying up the toys on the right
36. if you are like me and love predictability/order/schedules, you should accept that those rigid days are over! realize that life with baby will always be changing, embrace it
37. it is not easy to take contrived pictures of kids under 1 years old (re: Christmas card project). yet it looks so easy when pro-photographers do it!
38. buy or make your own baby book. i love looking back at pics and what i wrote when Max was ____ months old
39. strangers give up their seats on the bus when you're wearing a baby (surprisingly not always though when you are pregnant)
40. having a child is quite expensive! 
41. i avoid stores that play loud music (especially when baby is napping) and stores that make it impossible for strollers to move around freely. they have simply lost my business
42. the wheelchair accessibility in this city are limited and most of the time inconvenient (strollers essentially use the same path)
43. as a new mom, it is so important and valuable to have a support group of moms with kids of similar age (born same month) whether in real life or online
44. i loathe the Metrotown mall access from the sky trains! why do strollers and people with disabilities have to get wet and cross a busy intersection to access the mall?
45. i thought i was going to be a minimalist in the toy department, but no that didn't happen
46. i used to clean once a week, now it's about every 10-14 days or "whenever"
47. 'sleep training' is a sensitive topic in the parent world, it can stir up a lot of judgement. yet it is the most frequently asked topic
48. being a mom gives you bionic ears. I can hear  everything (i once was an amazing deep sleeper), things like ticking clocks, gurgling pipes, meowing cats, overly bright LED alarm clocks, creaking of the floors etc, wake me up or keep me up
49. i love it when Max gives me kisses without my asking. i think he loves me!
50. writing a blog helps vent some steam, spread the good word, and great for people interested in Max to see updates. one day Max can read this and look back!
51. we will do anything and everything for Max's happiness and well being
52. the mom and baby bond is so beautiful, it can't be put into words. unmatched, unconditional, unending. it's totally l-o-v-e

My Love is 11 months old!

What's my 11 month old up to these days?

• curious about a lot of things, lots of hand gestures and sometimes pointing towards an object and says "ayyyyy" or "ohhhhh"
• loves the toilet paper roll
• he really enjoys going on his belly and looking for stuff under big furniture (ie. the couch) so i just drop stuff under there and he gets them ...and then he drops it again to see where it goes, watches it come back, and then retrieves it again 
• he's finally noticing (not just looking) things above him and things that surround him like photos, decals, lights
• he's got mild patches of eczema throughout (thanks Winter!), he's been getting daily applications of Aquaphor and so far under control
• footless sleepers! size 12-18months for tops and 6-12 months for bottoms, size 3 Pampers cruisers
• he can turn his walker on his own and even do a full 360
• sleeping from 8pm and waking up sometime between 6-745am (towards the latter part of his 10th month he's been sleeping 8pm-730am with no feeds or wakeups overnight)
• 2 naps a day, first nap 2-2.5hours after waking up and he can go about 4 hours awake until the next nap. Average length 1.25hours
• still naps in my arms, i LOVE our special time together, so though not the best thing for someone who has to go back to work, im not in a panic to change this yet
• he used to enjoy me throwing (in the lightest sense of the word) him up in the air and catching him, now he gets frightened

                        

 

• 3 breastfeeds a day, 3 solids a day and sometimes he gets a snack (i think his favorite food are bananas, he can eat the whole thing in one sitting just cut in half)
• he's a good eater but needs to be on my lap and me pretending to eat it if it's a new food item
• he does not like goats milk ...tried it just after 10.5months and he's not into it at all
• loves watching birds fly
• cries when men he doesnt know interact with him, but not so with women 9/10 times
• developed a separation anxiety with husband, but only when we're grocery shopping and he's on the cart. even if im in front of him, he's still wants Gene
• can crawl while holding onto something or pushing his cars
• sometimes walking or cruising with one hand! a few times ive caught him standing on his own without support and then he drops to the ground
• super clingy with me just after waking up, he needs to be carried/held for quite a bit
• if im not making eye contact with him, he pulls on my pant leg and holds on to my leg jumping and escalating until he's picked up
• lots of high pitched squeals and shrieks when happy, excited, and having fun
• shares everything but doesnt always let go of it (he'll offer someone his food, but just let their mouths touch it and then he eats it) 
• shy around new situations and doesnt really interact with other babies in groups. sometimes he's even scared of other babies and will cry
• able to do partial waves but not always on queue (think open your hand and drop finger each down to make a loose fist
• you know that pampers commercial where the baby is moving chairs and other furniture around? yep that's what Max is doing
• about 21.5lbs, 2 upper 2 lower teeth (i can see two more coming in the upper part, but they haven't cut through the gums yet)
• arms up when wants to be picked up or just held 
• i just need to lean in and i get kisses kisses kisses! (ok open mouthed wet kisses)

• he took his first steps on December 17th at approx 6pm! Since then, he's been able to walk 3-4 steps and stand up on his own for like 10 seconds or so. he wont do it on command (naturally) but instead suprises us by either ditching the walker and just going to walk or ditching a toy and coming to us a few steps away!

crappy quality video with even worse lighting!

Current schedule +/- 30 minutes

745am wakeup and feed

10 am nap

1115 am wakeup and breakfast

2pm lunch

245pm breastfeed and 2nd nap

430pm wakeup

530pm dinner

630pm snack

730pm bedtime routine and breastfeed

8pm in bed, lights out, hopefully asleep

Max Has Hit Double Digits! 10 Months Old!

little Max is now 10 months old. I say this every month- where the heck did the time go?

What's a 10 month old Max like these days?

• he says 'mama mama' all the time in long run on sentences, sometimes we get a 'dada dada'
• he's playing with various volumes of his voice
• he's loves sharing/offering his nutrios and pacifier
• sleeping straight from 8pm-7am with only rare wakeups (no night feeds!), ravenous in the morning as expected!
• naps 2 times a day (sometimes 3), in my arms, for about 1.5hrs each time - this is prime time to get up to date with everything happening in the social network
• a really sweaty sleeper when sleeping in my arms, his hair is soaked when he wakes up
• learning to point at things he wants or at people he wants attention from
• offering hand still, but not as often (same gesture)
• can walk by himself using the walker! (watch the video)

• really good appetite, with breakfast being the best. still feeding on lumpy/pureed but good at feeding self whole apples, cheese, nutrios, peas, and carrots
• loves nutrios, rice rusks, cottage cheese, and all apples (i think he would eat these for breakfast lunch and dinner if he had a choice)
• puts arms up when he wants to be picked up. if already up in someones arms, he stretches arms out towards another person he wants to be carried by
• he can crawl while holding onto something with one of his hands
• wants to climb over everything to get through (instead of crawling around the object like, ie. ME!)
• loves giving open mouth wet kisses. i just need to lean forward close to him and his mouth is open to give a wet kiss
• breastfeeding 4x a day

• 4 teeth (2 up, 2 bottom)
• 3-4 poops a day
• still loves and whines for his pacifier
• he really likes watching mike the knight - i think it has something to do with how big the characters are on tv
• he loves the IOGO yogourt commercials! we were playing in the kitchen, he hears the first 4 notes of the commercial, he pauses and then bolts out of the kitchen to watch the commercial. one of those wave-your-hand-in-front-of-their-face-and-no-blinking moments. again, probably has to do with how simple and big the images are
• attaached to me big time (aka major separation anxiety). i cant leave room without him crying, or him looking/finding me. i cant be in the kitchen without him wanting to be carried by me and will escalate to crying if i dont pay attention to him or move around too much

everything goes in his mouth

Max's 10 month old 'schedule,' (times are approximate +/- 30 minutes)

7am: awake, breastfeed

9-1020: nap

1030: breakfast

12pm: breastfeed

130: lunch

230-4pm: nap

4pm: breastfeed

6pm: dinner

730: bath, bed time routine, breastfeed

8pm: asleep

10pm: my bedtime!

WOW 

This time in 2011

This time last year I was in disbelief after my ultrasound revealed we were having a boy! See pics HERE

Sometimes I feel like pinching myself! He's here, really here!!! I want to bite and squeeze him all the time, teach him everything that i know (and then some), and make everything possible xoxoxo

he likes me to 'attack' him from behind 

read about that HERE

Being a Mom

love this.

such a sassy remark that i wouldnt mind using on someone one day.

however, i dont think i've been a crappy friend. right real life friends?! 

if anything, ive been more social since everyday is friday-saturday-sunday on my schedule! 

Reflection of Motherhood

I was tagged on facebook with this video attached.
i liked "google doesn't have children" lol! i should post this on top of my laptop screen!
but on a more serious note, they almost all ring true. touching.

snippet: "We asked moms if they could go back to before their first baby, what would they tell themselves. These are their answers."

Mom Reminder

Sometimes mom's just need to hear these words

dear sweet mom who feels like she is failing...